We had an idiot friend named Clint in high school.

Carly Fiorina would be a good choice. She  could drive this campaign into the ground as well as any man.

Oh my god, I never noticed how much Eric Trump looks like Odo from Deep Space Nine.

Hey Fucker! How else was I supposed to pay for my weed and comic books? What, by getting a job?!? Fuck that noise. Please don’t tell Aunt Gail I smoke weed. Please.

Final Four:

Clinton did an excellent job of making Trump repeat the words “That’s not true” and “Wrong” in response to his comments (which are on the record), and it left him visibly upset.

Hotel bookings are supposedly down between 30-70% at Trump properties thanks to the past year. It seems the people who like Trump now aren’t exactly the types to drop $400 a night on a room. I suspect they care a lot more about that than they do about winning the election, since they’re going to be living off dad’s…

He is burning their inheritance to the ground on this vanity project.

Most telling behaviour of the debate was at the end.

They want to be The Kennedy Family sooo badly. Only with out all of that hard work and service stuff.

Trumps’s like your unemployed cousin that you send to the store to get beer and smokes. You just know he’s going to fuck it up.

Are there any stats on how many of these murders happen because a meerkat wants to just relax a little with a beer after a hard day of working in the jungle and another meerkat won’t shut the fuck up about how badly the lawn needs mowing and it has to be done right away so it looks nice when that meerkat’s mother…

No, people who are determined to equate Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump.

This is a dumb. You may not like the choices, but it’s a choice between your least favorite ice cream flavor, and a waffle cone full of bloody diarrhea. They might both be bad, but there’s still a clearly correct choice between them.  

Oh... just noticed your avatar. I get it now. Jesus Christ...

I hate people like you.

Jimmy fallon is a ticking time-bomb, he is losing his damn mind

as i age, i am finding that i am becoming more and more petty.