I am LIVING for it as well. There was so much going on that I had to rewatch it several times to have the full experience. All the typos in the chyrons. Her laying hands on a Hobby Lobby wreath. The wrist brace. It’s all just so good. 

I came here to say just that. I refuse to believe that Ted Cruz fucks ever. Any offspring he has fell out of the sky during a hailstorm. 

A brown-skinned, Middle Eastern Jewish man who has funny ideas about wealth and dispenses free healthcare? They’d probably crucify him anyway.

That’s the exact rationale that the few friends/family members that consistently voted republican would use whenever I tried to talk to them about this shit. (For the record, I don’t talk to them anymore.) The whole “Fiscally conservative, socially liberal” thing that seems to help support this narrative is such…

I believe this person is non-binary and also totally not serious based off their profile, but I still enjoyed the shit out of that tweet because it perfectly encapsulated these chucklefucks so well. 

Goddammit take your star.

I’m sure he inspected the bunker the same way I would “inspect” the doorway of my den during scary parts of movies when I was like, 4.

So the people who were frothing at the mouth about a pedophile ring are either complicit in or supportive of policies that essentially aided in the creation of...a pedophile ring.

The richness of the fact that someone who would fake activism has an internet handle that includes the word “facts” is not lost on me, either.

Your commentary is always spot on, but that last paragraph hit the nail on the head. Sweet gentle Jesus. 

Ah yes, the ever-looming specter of climate change. How could I forget?

And apparently there’s chlamydia in the ocean. Fuck this year.

Sociopathy, narcissism, dementia or neurosyphilis, probably.

Aaaaaand this asshole is wearing a Deadpool shirt because of course he is. Do these shitstains even read the comics?

I knew a woman like this. She was my neighbor once-upon-a-time and was batshit insane for a variety of reasons. About ten years ago, she adopted an older child from Russia (the boy was about 5 or 6 or so) so she could get the ego boost of “saving” a child that was “less desirable because of the age factor”. Those are…

When I was teaching preschool and encountered at least 3 families who would put their kid in a closet or small space like that to “calm them down” when they had a tantrum. There were tons of other parents who would similarly harmful things to their children to get them to stop undesirable behaviors, too. My mom was…

Ugh those “all in this together commercials” send me into a blind rage now. Did you know I saw one from Charmin the other day? CHARMIN.

Thanks, but I don’t need reassurance from the Shit Bears. 

lmao you can tell he’s not happy about it, either. How does he manage to look pouty and sulky with half his face covered?

I’m all for it. Historically, a pie to the face is how we’ve always dealt with clowns so it makes more sense than milkshakes. 

To be fair, I think Incitatus was probably more qualified than Ivanka, Jared or anyone else he’s appointed, really.