<i>"The other guitar players in my band are much, much better guitars than I am. To put the best sound out there, they play the solos."</i>

Joel Figueroa went on to say that, despite never playing in the snow at the U, he did plenty of skiing in the off-season.

I think the takeaway from this article is that "J.D. and the Straight Shot" is still not a better band name than "Isiah and the Stomach Pumps."

Signing J.R. Smith makes total sense now, considering Dolan's love of the pipe organ.

Ugh. I haven't seen a man get blown in public this badly since this morning's commemorative footage.

JD: I don't own music.

I would love to have an owner who cares, but there are times when I am glad that Dolan forgets that he owns a hockey team.

"I don't want no handsome man, 'cause he don't treat me right.

Exactly. It's hard to dispute that, all things being equal, young newlywed men would prefer their spouses to be hot. But as the years go on, even if their wives stay hot, they will inevitably start to value it less. After a decade or two married men start to value novelty over beauty.

I don't necessarily think you should be less shallow.

I'll admit it, I love good looking guys. Attractiveness means a lot to me, but so do other things. Anyway, I married a really good looking guy who has put on a few pounds since our nuptials and it irks me, because I feel that as a woman I should be more understanding and less shallow. But it really does make me happy…

I love that this line shuts the chorus up. She can cook? Hey, ok!

I saw your wife the other day!
Yeah?
Yeah, an' she's ug-leeee!
Yeah, she's ugly, but she sure can cook, baby!
Yeah, alright!

Guess I misread it. That's what I get for trying to be optimistic.

And that's me on a "I dressed up" kind of day.

This directly contradicts the findings that Dr. Jimmy Soul published in 1963. Many remember the white paper he released via the prestigious Billboard 100, where he posited:

I had a kid tell me in a 101 class that he was going pro and that he'd have my job if I busted his balls about showing up to class again. I dismissed him from the course (this was at an SEC school) through the proper channels. He came to me bawling with his team handler about how he wasn't going to be on the roster…

ESPN. There are a lot of places to point the finger, but no single entity has a bigger share of the blame to bear over the past 15 years than ESPN.

I'm confused- is Adam Weinstein (also) on the faculty, or claiming someone sent him this?