1. Because the FBI is part of the Executive Branch.

1. Yes. 2. No it doesn’t. 3. No it’s not but it doesn’t matter because the FBI is an agency which is prohibited from partisan political activity.

Are you really this stupid?

I don’t know about “google,” but I’m a lawyer and I can make a good case the FBI director falls well within those intended by the Hatch Act.

I am not the pooper in this story. I am the poopee.

So I was working at a really shitty pizza parlor in a weird artsy neighborhood in Portland. This place was beyond garbage. If the right people were working you could get a decent pie, but god help you if you ordered a slice. The owner would make one cheese, one pepperoni, and one veggie at opening (11am) and they…

This isn’t my story - it was a guy I knew in college. He was the super socially awkward son of super socially awkward parents, who were well off enough to own a summer house in Chatham on Cape Cod. This was back in the early eighties when every social situation was straight out of a John Hughes movie, so he has the…

I was on a road trip with my mom to Arkansas to visit my aunt. We were stuck in gridlock on the highway and if I didn’t go soon there was imminent danger of pissing myself. We’d gotten some Mickey D’s a while back so I peed in a cup. Couple hours go by, my mom either forgot or grabbed the wrong cup or both, sucked…

I’m not the pooper in this story, so hopefully it still counts.

stayed up super late drinking beer and eating chalupas with my boyfriend. He had just moved to a new house. He had this “friend,” who I suspect “like-liked” him, and insisted on coming over for a tour. When she got there, the beer and chalupas came home to roost. I shut the door, and whispered for him to take her…

If it’s manipulative to call a person stupid for doing stupid things, then I’m an unrepentantly manipulative son of a bitch. And let’s be clear: Purposely not voting is both A) an exceedingly stupid thing to do, and B) something that disqualifies you from complaining about, or really even having an opinion about the…

Haha, you don’t understand how any of this works.

I was referring to the attacks made against each candidate this semester. You want the arguments for Clinton?

OMFG SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU ARE HORRIBLE.

No, fuck YOU. It is not Huma’s fault. Why don’t you go woman-blame yourself off a tall building.

I know, right? On the one hand, Trump is a racist, bigoted, misogynistic, bloviating neanderthal with a penchant for sexual assault, scam colleges, failed novelty products, bankruptcy, and screwing the little guy so he can line his own pockets. And on the other hand, Hillary Clinton has an A+ rated charity, got sick…

Damn. Thank you for sharing that.

It has been 9 years since I deployed to Iraq. I spent 15 months there doing convoy recovery. Since I got back I’ve dealt with at times crippling PTSD, and about three years ago my therapist recommended I try playing a more realistic war game, as it apparently helps many people (though honestly I don’t know how). At…

So it’s actually rape that makes you go blind, not masturbation.

This saddens me. Now there is literally no way he’ll see the inside of a jail cell.