I think, unless you're really lucky, you call that a heart attack.

I think the peak is probably after 2 tabs of acid, 3 lines of coke, a joint and one round of heroin (what do you even call that?!)

Are you recommending the sex toy company converts itself into a grocery store and gives away food? Or that it gives away nothing?

"Won't allow her to be a dead starfish in bed"

Did anyone else used to take to their face with St. Ives Apricot Scrub, dreaming it was curing their hideous complexion when it actually made it feel like you'd rolled crushed glass and sludge all over your skin?

To be fair, Jaden always looks concerned

I hope the school district/police force/community treat this woman to the vacation of her dreams or a massive raise or something. She deserves it.

Shit, he sure don't meet mine so I'm not upset.

I don't know, maybe I'm out of line here, but I don't care at all what color her space helmet is. I mean Barbie is a pretty girlie doll anyway, pink or not. If you made that space helmet blue, the sheer girliness of Barbie (her makeup look alone!) would be unchanged. I just think it's awesome that they have an…

There's nothing wrong with being selective and having high standards, especially if you're looking for someone to settle down with for life and not just have a casual fling with.

By all accounts, a young woman who lives in a completely different state brought a container of gas with her to a random old lady's house and lit a fire in the stranger's driveway... and then hung around and watched it for long enough for the cops to arrive. They arrived, spoke with her, and based on the fire and her…

I think there’s a difference between atheists and Internet Atheists. IAs are, it seems to me, mostly young white men just aching to be oppressed by something.

It is raining on my face again...

I really want to respond to that post with a poem called, "if you weren't an asshole," but that would break my no troll feeding policy.

I'm sorry, but until men are able to carry a fetus to term inside of their own bodies and birth it themselves after hours of painful labor, their opinion just doesn't. fucking. matter.

Maybe it's because I'm not big on kids, or maybe I just meet a lot of shitty parents, but I feel like a lot of kids are assholes. And if there is one thing I absolutely hate is when strangers ask other strangers to discipline their kids. For example:

You only need this one.