Welp, at least she fulfilled her dreams of getting JJ Watt in her pants.

Yeah but what’s the governor’s front-squat max?

Ummmmm, what the fuck kind of seats are those? You may as well sit in the parking lot.

It was then the players learned Butler had dyslexia.

Worst. Winger. Ever.

How awesome would it be if Olympic wrestling allowed professionals?

You know what? Fuck you. People are so mad Sacramento kept the Kings from those prolapsed, vote manipulating assholes in Seattle. Yes the Kings objectively suck now, but they have the best arena in the NBA now. Eventually it will be our turn. Suck my dick.

I don’t think live Sports will ever go away. Well, at least not until Huey Lewis dies.

The U.S. men’s handball coach said it would take only 6 months of training for LeBron to be the best player in the world

At least we know what Drew looks like with a beard:

I swear the Simpson’s already did this. Does anyone know what the Brazilian equivalent of a booting is?

Can’t believe how much that Greg Jennings play broke him mentally.

How could the combination of the Olympics and boxing not be above board? I am so shocked by these allegations I might just have to use an exclamation point to express my outrage.

He could always just tattoo the Gold Medal around his neck.

“You do realize you’re a state employee, right?”

Pretty sure the only way this ends is Yaya doubling his salary to play in China.

This team is so shitty, the fans can taste it from the parking lot

You would think this national embarrassment would lead to no one ever hiring a Brazilian pool boy again, but my stay at home wife STILL thinks Gabriel is just irreplaceable. sheesh.

Nope. Still fucking hate them.

They might have hard turf in North Dakota, but there’s a shortage of insanely fast, aggressive black dudes up there.