Leave it to a creationist to start making shit up.

"Tell you what, you lose first now, we'll lose first in March."

The team has, however, completed six interviews for the GM job, meaning that they are batting .600 on interview requests. At this point, I think we can count that as a victory.

I hope it's mom's job to teach their daughter how to use a tampon.

The pertinent part of rule 10.2 says that knob's got to be white.

Tough break for the Lions, losing Suh for the entirety of the playoffs.

"Tammy seems to misunderstand Melissa McCarthy's appeal"

I have no idea what I just read nor why I read it.

The thought of my parents being able to see everything I do for work is ... is ... unthinkable.

You failed to mention the enclosed $49 million Target gift card.

Should he lead with his dong? Jezebel commenters would be all over him for such a chauvinistic move.

That's a very good thing—few things scream "1990s" more than purple as a uniform color.

What is truly amazing is that the Steelers, 9-5 and one win away from clinching a playoff spot, somehow managed to lose to two of these teams (Bucs and Jets) and nearly lost to a third (Jags). Thankfully for us Steeler fans, they don't have any other bad teams on their schedule.

The last thing college football needs is another coach caught tagging children.

Also not fucking: People who play laser tag.

The Knicks have been trying it ever since they got Carmelo. Shit just doesn't work.

It's called "The Ginobili."

So what did the Jets do, already well out of playoff contention and at this point only concerned with saving face? They took the ball out of Smith's hands.

And whatever you do, don't tell him you want to see a hat trick.

I much preferred when the Airing of Grievances was limited to once a year.