I feel like Nintendo could release DLC for the original Mario Bros. and people would say it was content pulled to make a quick buck.

Wow.

I’m just saying, but both Stardew Valley and Darkest Dungeon begin with a dying male relative giving you a house in the country and revealing that they lived life differently than you thought they had.

Or you could say that Pelican Town, much like The Wicker Man’s Summerisle or the village in Shirley Jackson’s The Lottery, is a bucolic small town that hides plenty of dark secrets.

This one is actually quite confusing to me. Nintendo and DeNA kind of dropped the ball with this one, because honestly, this is the Nintendo app I enjoyed the most upon its launch. It was so silly, so fun, and a great new way to interact with family and friends.

HOW ABOUT THAT SEIKEN DENSETSU COLLECTION? HOW ABOUT PORTING THAT SOB OVER HERE AND FORCING ME TO BUY A SWITCH?

Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles: My Life as a King

IF YOU BUY A KOTAKU LOOT CRATE FOR 99 CENTS YOU WILL GET FIVE RANDOM VIDEO GAME CLIPS TO INSERT INTO THE REEL. IF YOU BUY 5 LOOT CRATES IT WILL ONLY COST YOU $3.99. BUY THE GAWKER SPECIAL BUNDLE WHICH INCLUDES 50 LOOT CRATES FOR $40.99

I’m not being facetious. If you don’t want to read the thoughts of someone who didn’t love the first game, you should look elsewhere. There are plenty of glowing reviews out there from people who love the series. Nothing wrong with that!

Jason can you please rewrite this review so I can justify spending my money on this game. Please make sure to be as glowing as possible so I can also have someone to blame later when I realize that I wasted my money. Great talk, Thanks!

Gamers: Media companies and journalists are too close to the industry and aren’t critical at all.

As someone who loved Xenogears, but couldn’t get into Xenoblade Chronicles (and already starting to feel like a weirdo because of everyone praising it - out of the Wii JRPGs coming out in that period, I actually liked The Last Story way more), this review was exactly the right angle for me.

Yeah, why would they have the RPG guy review an RPG? Pffft.

I guess this is one of the times that reviewing a game really sucks. 50+ hours in a game you didn’t like. It’s like finishing a 400 page book you can tell is awful by page 25.

Remember, if you don’t fawn all over a title a particular reader really wants to be good, then you’re biased and incapable of impartial, rational assessment.

I’m with you on being baffled by this evident demand for uniformity across reviews and reviewers. While I definitely make use of Kotaku’s reviews in making…

I chose to review it because, as I said in the second paragraph, I was hoping that Takahashi and crew would make something I enjoyed more this time around.

you spelled “Switch” wrong

I think companies need to stop being shy about it.

It is a villain, it’s just one of the nicer ones.