You’ve barely scratched the surface here. When melting fruits and vegetables start resembling dead celebrities, the whole experience becomes incredibly meaningful. Imagine defrosting a plum that looks like Carrie Fisher and George Michael at the same time.

Blasphemy is a victimless crime.

Maybe they think Trump will leave 2000+ years of death and destruction in his wake, too.

What a thoroughly deceptive article! The implication is that the rest of Amerika somehow still resembles a democracy. It does not and has not for many years. The plutocracy so carefully preserved by the BushObama administration is now being transformed into a kleptocracy. NC is now in the vanguard and is setting the…

What does it look like when “scientists” want to cut to the front of the line for TrumpResearchDollars? It looks like this. You can put a stick in it and wave it around if it makes you feel better, but for all practical purposes science is dead. Democrats and republicans have succeeded in killing it..

Natural selection? That’s what made stuff like xtianity, judaism, islam, McDonald’s, Oxycontin, Hitler, Trump, and Kardashians wildly successful. Apparently it’s not working right. What have you got to lose?

Hypocrite-in-Chief calibrates fascism to achieve perfect Goldilocks level. How nice.

A Vietnam Veteran who is obviously proud of defending his right to display the license plate text of his choice. “Ho” Chi Minh and his commie friends could sure take a lésson from this! 

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TrumpRice: Making rice great again!

Does your editor have a knife like this? Do you even have an editor?

Would-be imperialists of the solar system temporarily inconvenienced. Solar system breathes short-lived sigh of relief.

About that fake news, guys. It’s the best. It’s helping make Amerika great again. Don’t mess with it if you know what’s good for you.

If you lie with statistics you get your “article” up on gizmo.

He doesn’t need a “tech company”. He’s got the NSA. You think they don’t already have such a database?

Is there a penalty for stealing something that has no value?

Sure, we’ll check for signs of life ... if we can tear ourselves away from raping and pillaging our neighbor planet. Signs of life my ass -- when do we start drilling the fucker?

Still can’t forgive her for the democrats’ nomination of an unelectable candidate huh?

You have to be totally in awe thinking about how humans accomplished any of these tasks (especially the “useful” ones) without wearing a “smart watch.” It’s truly a testament to the obsolete concept of human ingenuity. What’s even more amazing is the rich fodder for clickbait represented by this impressively useful…

Canada.