RE: 2. Right??? Like rapists don't rape people every second of the day. Do these people find the moments when they aren't committing sexual assault to redeem their horrifying behavior? If not, they should gtfo Reddit.

I honestly think it's the same mindset as rapists: it's not about the sex, it's about gaining power through the domination and disempowerment of a woman. These dudes aren't just trying to get off; they're trying to get off to women without their knowledge or consent and THAT is sexy for them.

I think it's because you know they weren't born that way but conditioned and trained to say and think this shiz. Which is to say that almost all (I would say all but someone will jump on me) men were also trained that way and it actually takes more effort to throw off the shackles of that training than to blindly…

I hate those terms too. I used the phrase "low-end" because that is what the study used and I was specifically referring to that population of sex workers. If pimps look at women as object, a "high-end" woman would be a gold-plated object and a "low-end" woman would be made of plastic. Regardless, they aren't human -…

I agree. I think, like many systems influenced by patriarchy, sex work is fine and (at least economically because you get money) empowering in theory but in actuality is a grotesque imitation of the idea. I used the phrase "low-end" because that is what the study used and I was specifically referring to that…

Offenders often consider their participation a "victimless crime."

I saw a still from the Bill O'Reilly show where he said that calling people racists and homophobes is hate speech.

ETA: Comment was way too long. It's still too long I know.

I thought this too! All the great sex and great partners I've had - I just want other people to feel those great things. At the same time, I reflected on all the horrible and sometimes horrifying sexual experiences I've had that I wouldn't wish on anyone. I guess we don't know what we're missing by being 22 year old…

My OB/GYN accidentally shamed me (for a different reason). It was awful! I can't be on hormonal birth control, but my amazing ex-bf and I always used condoms, which I told my OB/GYN. We broke up and a couple months ago, I got a condom stuck in me that the doc had to remove. He goes, "So, you're still with that awesome…

It's okay not to get the point, but I think the fact that you don't get it illustrates why she wrote it. Clearly you haven't had the experience of people dogging you so much about your virginity that you are constantly called upon to defend and excuse it. I haven't either, but that's why it's important for people to…

I think the same thing about most sexual assaults. There is a lot of hate there.

It's okay that we disagree, but I think you're fundamentally misunderstanding my point. Here's the difference. The lengths people have gone to to understand this kid shows we know we can't even fathom what could possibly be going in his mind. We don't extend her that - she's just BAD. And we're alright we admitting…

It is actually victim blaming. You are blaming a murder victim for her murder. However, my comment wasn't about that anyway. I'm not talking about the details of what happened here but rather using this case as an example of how we treat moms in the media. I'm saying that there are only two types of mothers you get to…

I think I answered this here. I'm not trying to argue the details of this case. I'm arguing the portrayal this mother and other mothers get when their children commit crimes. As I said earlier, the fact that people think they so simply and easily understand Mrs. Lanza and what she should have done speaks to the way we…

Is this why my students beg beg beg to know my first name, even though it's written on their schedules and my door?! Is this why they're dying to be my Facebook friends, even though they couldn't have less of an interest in my life?!

We just disagree. I believe what we see as "senseless" is that a white person would commit such violence and we spend so much time and energy delving into his psyche and past in order to make sense of it, because it couldn't just be that he's committed a monstrous act. It's hard to compare because most mass murders…

I don't have number to back this up, but in my memory the type and amount of articles trying to analyze the family lives, mental health history, etc. of the DC snipers was no where near the amount and type of articles doing the same for the Lanzas. I would argue that those articles that did exist were to frame their…

I disagree with you, but maybe you misunderstood my initial comment. I'm not talking about the details of what happened here but rather using this case as an example of how we treat moms in the media. I'm saying that there are only two types of mothers you get to see: perfect ones and bad ones. Trying to understand…

Hindsight is 100%, though. The dad even says she never thought he'd hurt anyone. I mean if she knew he had mass murder plans and kept guns around, that'd be different. Lots of people have sick children who never kill anyone.