My friend was on the sidewalk when an unauthorized center cap flew off a Porsche and severed her hands and blinded her left eye.  She was wearing an authorized Ferrari jacket, which immediately caught on fire.

That’s a good bike, but mid-range pricewise.  It’s pretty easy to find bikes, mountain or road, north of $10,000.

This man has poor, wasteful taste.  I know this because I am an excellent judge of taste.  So good, in fact, that I ordered myself a trophy with exactly that on it.

Ice Breaker Ice Cubes gum, in spearmint, peppermint or cinnamon.  The flavoring is strong enough to do the job.  It uses xylitol, so there are dental benefits.  It comes in big bags if that’s your thing.  It’s available all over the place.  I get mine at Walmart specifically.

Ice Breaker Ice Cubes gum, in spearmint, peppermint or cinnamon.  The flavoring is strong enough to do the job.  It…

It can’t be Goose’s kid in the coffin.  Goose’s kid would have to be played by Ryan Gosling, and he’s not in the cast.

Crap... I missed the humidifier. Otherwise I’ve been doing all this uselessly for years.

They can’t even provide links to files hosted under the Logitech (or Logi) domains for the Unifying receivers?  Just some direct download from an AWS share somewhere?  And said download is apparently bricking receivers?  This is not how this should be done.

I’m pretty conservative, and I’d love nothing more than to see Abraham Lincoln descend from the sky on a cloud and grab Trump by the neck and bellow “you and I have NOTHING in common” before tossing him into the sun.

Will there be a Raptor version of the emoji?  Not interested if not.

That’s a bold strategy, Cotton. Let’s see if it pays off for Mr. Blart.

“... tiny, smooth, and hard”

It’s being compared to a Ferrari. Shouldn’t that be “immolation is the sincerest form of flattery”?

And yo momma be like, “Finally, a big enough back seat”

But what if I am trying to compose a ransom note? Can I still use Moleskine or can you recommend something else?

Available in the ninth circle of Costco.

I probably won’t get this book. Those jokes were decrepit and tired even before they were uttered for the very first time.

You make a thought occur to me... perhaps they want to magnify the feedback loop? Self-loathing leads to misogyny, which demands expression. So, how best to express it? It doesn’t really do to scream into the void, “You @*&!@%# have forced me to look up a couple of good Youtube videos and spend nearly $10 a month at…

Pressure can be empowering.

It is legal in Utah. Bikers are supposed to ride as close as reasonable to the right edge of the roadway if they are not moving the speed of traffic, which many of these definitely aren’t...

Sure, I get that, but as it happens this was a newly-built, very clean area, and not prone to debris accumulation.  In fact, roads in general in this area tend to be very nice that way.