I can control the volume/track on the stereo on one side of the wheel and the cruise control on the other. That's all I need.

This car reminds me of my house. Its previous owner was a do-it-yourself-er how had no idea what he was doing. Every job this guy did, and he was prolific, was done with such poor execution that I have a fun nickname for him, Captain Half-ass. He hid all of his crappy work with a veneer and we didn't realize how much…

Lighten up, chief. It's for fun. These cars aren't my forté either, but it's still going to a good time.

How fitting.

Getting those end-cap style filter wrenches off can be a slippery pain in the ass.

So I guess you're saying you don't want your favorite motorcycle maker to be...tainted?

even the cocoon armor that everyone wishes their car had.

Six k and I get a spoiler that alerts cops when I'm speeding? Sign me up! NPATW!

Strange, because he looks like an asshole to me.

PSA: It is possible to take your Percussive Maintenance a bit too far. Don't be like "Clyde".

Congrats, Klic! You're on a roll!

Take it easy, chief. Let's keep it above the line, shall we?

My in-laws live in rural, farm-country Virginia (Saltville). One of the things I enjoy about going there is seeing trucks like this getting used the way they were meant to. Many of the owners I see can only afford one vehicle, so sometimes they treat themselves to the nicer version. It irks me to no end when I get…

Neanderthals, they were! Can you believe they actually used their pick-ups for work?

Those'll fit a Venti half-caff double foam mochachino easy!!!

This is perfect for getting to Starbucks. Can I get a locking rear differential? I need a locking rear differential and at least 26 inches of ground clearance to make it through the Starbucks parking lot. Oh! and heated leather steering wheel. I can't make it through the drive-thru without a heated leather steering…

I see those and all I want to do is have someone stand holding a roll of provolone as I drive by them quickly and see if I can use the buttress as an 80 m.p.h. cheese slicer.

Here are my answers. How'd I do? If I bribe you with a #COTD will that change my grade?

Precisely. Though, if you haven't seen the movie the reference is kinda lost.

Let's do this!