If you drive one of those humongous trucks like a Ram Compensator or Ford PP-X10DR that is longer and wider than a parking spot, do not park anywhere near the front of the store where you impede traffic getting past your car or the ability for other cars to exit their spots. Instead park as far away from the store as…

Passengers - another item on the list of things airlines don’t care about.

But is it USMC TP?  You know, rough, tough, and doesn’t take crap from anyone?

You tell us how to watch.  But why should we?  Watching grass grow is more entertaining.

How about if you give a laxative+a toilet plunger+toilet paper?  Do you meet tier 2 yet?  Maybe adding a squatty potty?

That one of the nice things about living in the desert southwest. There is very little standing water around in which mosquitos can breed. Only near some ponds (golf courses and parks) can you find a few. In the 20 years I’ve lived here, I probably saw and killed a dozen mosquitos. Most of those were during the Bush…

When driving around town, I do it somewhere between one third and one quarter, when range drops to 50-75 miles (hybrid car). On road trips out here in the west gas stations can be a hundred miles or more apart. So if I don’t know the route very well, I’ll start looking for fuel at about the half-way point or when my…

Great. This is just what non-existent office holiday parties need - something alcoholic to lower your inhibitions combined with caffeine to give you the energy to act on it.  I’ll have to remember this for next year. 

My favorite Christmas movies are the Hobbit and the Lord of the Rings.  There are elves, a golden ring, and a skinny old-world style Santa Claus (Gandolf).

There is a sixth planet you can see with your naked eye. It is even bright enough that you can see it in daylight if you know where to look. All you need to do is step outside and look down.

Exactly. We have CenturyLink fiber. 1 Gbps up and down, no data cap and all for $85 per month. Cox (our local cable company) wants to charge $150 and impose a datacap (too low for routine streaming media) for the same speeds. We have never really saturated our connection except when doing speed checks. I have wired…

Don’t forget dog or cat toy.  My dog will play with one for an hour or two then will let me throw it out.

The most topical foreign word is the German word, backpfeifengesicht. It is a very apt word to describe that feeling when you see a picture of the idiot in the White House.

I went through this about 15 years ago. The traditional method. It wasn’t that bad of a process. The worst part was wearing that plastic cone around my neck for two weeks while I healed up.

As a bonus for you: Here’s how you could see the sixth planet visible by your naked eye.  Just go outside and look down.

You missed your chance. You should have made this link point to Rick Atley’s “Never Gonna Give You up.” You can be sure that many people tested the link you put into your story just to see where it went.

They are the almost the right size and weight to use as biodegradable slingshot ammo. The stem does kind of throw the aerodynamics off a bit so you’ll have to practice with as many of them as you can find.

We use our local credit union’s auto buying service. We tell them what we want, including features and color, and they get back to us within a day or two saying they found the vehicle, when it will be delivered, and the price. They’ll even do financing if you need it. We’ve gotten good deals with no hassle. Sure, if…

Yes. The outside humidity for today is predicted to drop to a minimum of 8% - that’s lower than the GOP Congress’s approval rating. And temperature will be peaking at just under 100 F. But it’s a dry heat.

The pretentiousness is that this is not a light - this is a new inCARnation of the Trunk Monkey. You push a button on the key fob, the trunk opens up, a simian of you choice (four species from which to choose) comes out and draws the logo on the ground in chalk.