After sending out a million fucking thank you cards for wedding gifts and baby gifts, I finally decided I’m done. We had my son’s one year old birthday party and I didn’t send out thank you notes and it was the most fucking glorious feeling ever. If the person was there when we opened it, they got a verbal thank you,…

People will still buy you whatever the hell they want even if you do a registry. This is coming from someone who got THREE sets of candlesticks for her wedding, none of which I registered for.

I’ll spare you the suspense...Planned Parenthood does not profit from the sale of aborted fetus parts.

But Jesus washes your sins clean or some bullshit like that.

See also: sexism.

As a new mom, re-reading this book really opened up the waterworks for me. The concept of being pulled away from your family and your son just hits me in the fucking gut.

I’ve learned to always trust my instincts.

I’m wondering this as well. Do we get a total do-over? I sure fucking hope we’re not stuck with Betsey DeVos and Rex Tillerson for 4 years.

The one with the little kid...ahhh, right in the feels!

At my company, they didn’t do bonuses this year, but sent out an email asking for donations to our Foundation. Like I’m going to give any of my hard earned money back to our fucking in-house charity. FUCK no.

I’m sorry, what is going on with Kiera’s hair?

The dishwasher we bought from Sears a few years ago broke after a fucking year and a half. That’s how long shit lasts these days.

You want to know why women hate their husbands after having kids? Its because there are literally dozens of little things that we do that guys do not even have to think or worry about after baby comes. For instance:

Yeah, well a majority of Americans didn’t vote for Trump, yet here we are.

Aladdin is the list. All other Disney movies can GTFO.

I know this is a joke, but in fairness, these are not terrible skills to learn.

^^^^^ THIS!

If there isn’t a decent democratic nominee in 2020 I may not vote for the first time ever.

THANK YOU! I don’t understand this obsession with people thinking that just because someone is a successful businessperson or celebrity personality that it makes them qualified to run our county.