$8,000? Try $40,000. Especially if you need a c-section.

No parent who loses a child would ever admit to sleeping well at night unless they’re a fucking monster.

You shut your mouth. Those women are the true feminists! 

False. My Springer Spaniel once ate a bunch of cantaloupe and sharted all afternoon.

You must know my husband.

Can we please focus on the real bathroom issues? Like people who leave the sink all wet or piss all over the seat? These are the people we need to be banning from bathrooms.

I went to college with him. I can confirm that he is that genuinely sweet and adorable in real life all the time.

WHY IS BEN AFFLECK IN THE FRONT ROW?

Excellent advice, thank you!!

Excellent call on wrapping the items.

I already bought some treats that he normally is not allowed to have in order to bribe him to stay quiet. We’re flying to California from the East Coast, with a layover in the middle. I’m hoping he at least sleeps for part of the trip.

I’m stressing out hard about my flight next Monday with my 18 month old toddler. If some asshole delays our flight for some entitled shit like this, I’m going to start throwing things.

What is this iron thing you speak of?

I asked this question about Trump during the general election. Why does he even care about being President? He has all of the money in the world, why wouldn’t he just fucking take it and sit on a beach somewhere.

JC Penney has actually made a decent comeback from the stupid fair and square pricing/no more coupons fiasco.

In the hierarchy of race and gender, black men trump white women. It’s the same reason why black men were granted the right to vote before women.

I used to cringe about this stuff, but then I got pregnant and had a baby and now I’m super emotional and totally get why people do this shit. Pregnancy and raising kids goes by so fast. If there is ever a time in your life to do cheesy campy shit, it’s when you become a parent.

Yeah and good luck keeping up with twin toddlers.

She looks to be pretty far along. And yes, I realize she’s having twins, but still. I wonder how this wasn’t leaked.