Fucking Connecticut with your fancy ass pools and your fancy ass babies with their fancy ass life vests.

Because sugar is delicious. Duh.

Good luck to you on your dental journey! I went through something similar a few years ago. I am so happy I finally got up the courage to go, my teeth are so much healthier and I am so much happier.

I was in your shoes about 3 years ago. I hadn’t been to a dentist since I was 18 (I’m 34). I had to have many teeth pulled and implants placed and countless cavities filled. It was such a long road and although my teeth are healthy now, I so wish that I had gone earlier. I spent so many years in pain. I’m so much…

I switched to a female dentist years ago and I will never go back. Smaller hands in my mouth is so much easier on my gag reflex.

They both start with a hi.

It’s called a laptop. Or a tablet. Or a Kindle. Or even an iPhone.

If someone steals your beach towel, you just grab the next available. I don’t understand the problem. It’s not like a wine glass where you have to worry about sharing germs.

I love that she is bold enough to go without makeup. I wish I was that brave. Our culture has such unfair standards for women. It annoys the FUCK out of me that my husband can take a shower and get dressed in about 5 minutes, whereas I’m expected to shave my underarms and legs, dry/style my hair, put on makeup, etc.…

My husband really really wants to hike Half Dome in Yosemite. For those of you who don’t know Half Dome, it’s basically a bunch of idiots who think they’re accomplished hikers (like my husband), climbing up a sheer rock face with nothing but two wires on the side to help you balance.

Gabby just looked tired. Like she realized she’s too old for this shit.

Flute and piccolo bitches!

Does your personal wheel of the year run clockwise or counter-clockwise? In my head, the calendar is a clock running counter-clockwise with January 1st as midnight, April 1st as 9:00, July 1st as 6:00 and October 1st as 3:00.

In her defense, those kids really are beautiful. I just want to smooch them!

I was recently privy to a document containing the annual earnings of all the executives in my company. We currently only have one female executive. I’ll give you one guess who’s salary was at the bottom of the list.

My dog once ate a chicken wing wrapped in tin foil. It was an ugly evening of fire hose diarrhea. I can only imagine what it feels like to poop tin foil.

Fatty foods in general can cause pancreatitis in dogs.

Does anyone use Amazon Fresh? Is it worth the extra $200 a year? It just came to my area and as a working mom, I’m debating signing up.

Fellow old here. Honestly, I don’t understand it either. I’m buying stock in Lasik and Lenscrafters because these millenials and tweens are going to have some serious eye damage in the next 20-30 years.

itty bitty titty committe