Outta my way, outta my way.......ahhhhhhhh!

My dog only likes pools. All other forms of water are death traps as far as she is concerned.

My pup likes water, but only in pool form. Ocean, bathtub, hose...not happening. What a bitch.

I also thought it said taint-stained and I was picturing a rosy hued ceremony.

And the Jews stole Palestine...what's your point?

Fun fact - the song that is hummed at the end of A Charlie Brown Christmas is actually "Hark the Herald Angels Sing"...everyone always thinks it's "Silent Night". #themoreyouknow

Serious question - is there ever an appropriate time to tell my mother that I hate her christmas (i mean giftmas) cookies with the passion of a thousand suns? I've considered going gluten free just to avoid receiving them this year.

Agreed. I am a grown woman and will only shoot a .22. Anything over that makes me feel like I have no control.

I also know multiple asshole Daves. They really are a bunch of douchebags.

Team Bush 4 Life!

In all seriousness, will waxing my upper lip make it grow back thicker? I'm mildly self conscious about it ever since the asian manicure lady asked me if I wanted to "also get my lip done" while waxing my eyebrows.

Somewhat related - anyone else live near those cum trees?

I would definitely talk to your doctor. It may not be CTE. A lot of your symptoms are fairly common and could be from other causes, like anxiety, lyme disease, etc. They may be able to prescribe you some medication for the sleeping/mood issues. Also, if your vision has changed, you really should see an eye doctor.…

20, 17, 14, 11, 8, 5, 2

There are three things I never travel without:

Right? Am I color blind all of a sudden or is navy the new purple?

My dog is named Cali. We call her:

Scottish boys are my kryptonite.

Not a dude, but I fucking love the smell of gasoline.

Honestly, one of the best arguments for investing in a college education is the opportunity to surround yourself with successful, wealthy people and ride their coattails all the way to the bank.