If I don’t brush my teeth before bed or after meals or after a long day without a chance to brush, I feel awful. My mouth feels dirty, I have that “taste” in my mouth that nothing but a good brushing will eliminate. And it has nothing to do with kissing or pleasing my partner or anything. Dental hygiene is not only…

And he loved dogs.

What if I legally change my name to Harland on Sept. 9? I’ve done worse for less.

“Suite: Judy Blue Eyes”, written by Stephen Stills, is by Crosby, Stills & Nash without Young. (“Our House” is Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young, but Young doesn’t actually appear on that track).

What?

Isn’t that the plot of Chinatown?

No, there are good immigrants. Trump even said so: they’re from Norway.

When will you silly people learn that the law is just different for affluent white men. But don’t you dare call it “privilege”. That’s racist.

I don’t know. I bet he doesn’t have my personality.

If only there was some way he could’ve avoided all of this.

Just be grateful you don’t get sad during sex.

“a lot of beige going on.”

What about cheese soup, with or without bread?

Why would you toast a bread bowl?

“I’m having some degree of difficulty getting through high school.”

So he’d be a guy dressed to the nines coughing, sneezing, and spitting into a plastic grocery bag the entire flight.

Was this directed at me?

“...why leave out that Elon Musk’s mum is famous, brilliant, beautiful, and also a Canuck?” Because you’re part of the problem.

This is parody, right?

I didn’t realize I was required to like every movie ever made.