Yoko’s wisdom made me feel bad because as I left the house this morning, I took a look at my bedroom and despite the bed being made, it looked like a tornado hit it. That said, my kitchen is spotless so I could probably rest a cup on any surface in there.

Agreed.

Excellent. I drink because I’m an adult and I like it, not because I’m a mom. I remember someone giving me a ceramic wine glass when my daughter was born. It was all funky and painted and said “Mommy juice” on it. Yuck. I think whenever we start to talk about alcohol or drugs (and I also like the occasional puff) as a…

That’s what I call sticking the landing! Nicely done. (Sorry about your shitty family.)

I’m legit scared of that dick.

Hey Mary, just come lie down on this cracker here. That’s right, just on top of that red pepper jelly.

I can’t even read the stories because I’m stuck on the fact that you are leaving. Who will write about cops going nuts at the Waffle House? Who will tear into stupid Washington Post columnists who write dumb articles about tipping? What happens now?

You suck. I live in Canada and our economy manages to survive despite Canadian women (or men, parents can choose who takes the leave or the leave can be split) having the choice to stay home for one year of paid (poorly, but paid nonetheless) parental leave. I had a year off work, went back to my job and had the…

Sometimes, words REALLY matter.

Gah! I’m cross-eyed (which is corrected by my glasses) and when I went to get my license renewed a few years ago and they told me I had to take my glasses off for the picture, I pretty much cried and begged them not to make me do it. No dice. Just knowing that picture existed haunts me to this day.

Hear, hear. As the parent of a (polite, kind) child with high functioning autism, I’m tired of seeing it used as a synonym for assholery or terrible manners. Let’s just stop diagnosing people on the interwebs, shall we?

I have a colleague who does this (although not to that degree maybe). He tried to say infectious in a meeting (to explain that he didn’t come into work because he was) and said incestuous instead. I was like, “well, there’s a reason to miss work!”

The only one I’ve seen thus far is that “maybe the fear of deep things is a legit fear so we should be sympathetic.” To which I would say, if you fear bowls, maybe don’t eat soup in restaurants?

She probably can’t listen to the BeeGees.

I feel like that couple perfectly illustrates what’s wrong with Trump supporters and many Republicans. They just can’t let other people be. They need to TELL everyone else how to act, what to do with their bodies, how to celebrate Christmas (whether or not they want to). Don’t read your book! Don’t have premarital…

How do you know the threat is baseless?

I think the big also serves to describe the hug. Big people give wonderful hugs.

Best Behind Closed Ovens ever! This was delightful to read. I love humanity! People are AWESOME! The funky town story is amazeballs. Pinkham, did you get a puppy or something this week? Something is up. What gives?

He’s 43.

I thought the same thing. Poor guy. He needs new friends.