I’m also in a desert of dryness (and I’m not just talking about my vagina). This story made me feel sad but also optimistic. Perhaps the cure for my non-existent sex life is just waiting until I turn 60?

It’s too bad cooler heads didn’t prevail.

Mostly, I can’t bear the Yoko Ono tweets but I like this one. Perhaps I’m desensitized from prolonged exposure.

This week on Behind Closed Ovens is filled with the worst of humanity. Ugh. I feel like I’m covered in grill lines after reading that. It’s hard to decide who the worst of this batch is.

I hate her.

I can see it. My nephew has to carry an Epipen because of a peanut allergy but he hasn’t had any really severe reactions so while everyone knows it’s a thing for him, it’s not like we’re all on high alert all the time. They give those epipens out like candy these days. The day his pediatrician confirmed the allergy…

Love this! So glad I got to read this today. I’m a big fan of Lisa Kleypas and have already pre-ordered both new books. She’s a gem! Thank you, Lisa, for countless hours of reading pleasure.

The Swiss cheese story does not belong in this excellent collection of WTFuckery. I mean, if people don’t know what sandwiches are, how can we possibly expect them to know one foreign cheese from another?

Yeah, I’m a parent and I’ve always taken my kiddo to restaurants except for the hellacious stretch between 2 and almost 4. That was brutal. For a long time, it was, “do you hand out crayons? Okay, we’re good.” Because she couldn’t contain herself and I didn’t want to spend my time chasing her and feeling guilty about…

I actually had an argument with a friend where we both claimed to be the Dorothy of our group. It got a little heated.

There is no cat boinking that I recall but I’m pretty sure there is some dog fucking in that book.

Nope, they taste like peameal bacon.

My mom had this book (top shelf, like that was going to stop me) and I read ALL THE STORIES. I was 12. It was awesome.

I’m Kenickie’s broken condom. Which is odd, because there is a marked lack of jizz in my life.

I’m having the opposite problem! I’m also in my early forties and I get contacted mostly by guys in their twenties. Seriously, what does a twenty-two year old want with me and what could I possibly want with him? I don’t want to be ageist, but when the dude is closer in age to my daughter than he is to me, it just…

Hypothetical second husbands are always so understanding!

This is actually my sister's story but I'll share it because this boss was a really bad boss. She was working in a small beach town north of Toronto at a family owned Italian restaurant. The chef was the husband and he was a cantankerous old fart. If someone sent their meal back, she'd have to go into the kitchen,…

She's so freaking cute.

Wait, I use emojis but I'm not having any sex. WHAT AM I DOING WRONG? Could the problem be that I mostly text my sisters?

I was once at a work meeting where a guy started cutting his toenails at the boardroom table. This was in the high tech industry and he always wore Birkenstocks. I am not making this up. I've seen people do it on the subway too. People do all kinds of crazy shit. I buy the fork scratching story.