Competing theory: Bernie’s just campaigning to get his name out there so that when Trump is elected and the country collapses into depression and anarchy, Bernie can launch the Fifth International.

God damn, I love The Slot so much.

The same thing happened in D.C. two years ago! Red Pandas must be exceptionally sneaky/adventurous animals.

I, for one, welcome our Red Panda overlords.

RED PANDA GIF PARTY!!!

No, I want abortions to be treated with reason and safety. ;)

Problem with healthcare, with the disappearing middle class, unsubsidized child care which can lead to compromises for something you can afford...

THIS.

I too enjoy pricing human beings out of bodily functions.

It also sounds like a problem with our healthcare system that she couldn’t leave her job because she was the one with the benefits.

There has to be someone affiliated with Deadspin that can pull off the mannerisms and affectations of an adolescent attendee.

His next project will co-star Shia LeBoef

Dry Shampoo is my everything. Best thing ever, next to rosemary-infused tequila and moisture wicking hoodies.

Job 5:31: and lo the Lord didst punish Job by forcing him to drink only the coffee left in the Starbucks at 9:00PM, and wouldst not allow him to have a fresh cup.

Remember kids: Black Lives Matter is a bunch of whiners who are looking for reasons to be offended. The real oppression is a lack of Christmas iconography on your coffee cups.

I don’t know. They may have a point. Those cups don’t look anything like the ones Jesus drank his Gingerbread Lattes out of.

Fox News: “We’ll Believe Anything.”

ME TOO.

Okay but also bike lanes should be banned in general because cyclists should be banned because they never FUCKING FOLLOW THE RULES OF THE GODDAMN ROAD YOU CANNOT RUN A FUCKING STOP SIGN I AM IN A GIANT METAL TWO TON CYCLIST KILLING MACHINE YOU GODDAMN MORONS