Omg I should. Except I don't like admitting I dated him. It was in a moment of weakness and loneliness. But yeah, the emails he sent were awful, basically wishing for my death, calling me a whore...I didn't cheat on him, but told him that he needed to get out of my apartment and that I had met someone else. Dude…

after I dumped my jobless, alcoholic boyfriend for someone else (it was just a matter of time) he sent me an email that included the sentence "you couldn't handle the god cock". Seriously. Also a whole tirade berating me for having stretch marks.

would still bang.

Nooo. So sick of the hopsocalypse. If I see another IPA I will vomit.

Yeah, we just fuck our customers.

Unrelated, but if was curious about your username. May I inquire as to its meaning?

I think this is happening in the same room as Puddles' cover of Royals.

I've been secretly storing my cats' hair for months in order to knit sweaters for all of my loved ones eventually. I'm sure they will love it.

Thank you! I'm new around here. Well, been reading for about a year and a half but only fairly recently started commenting. I shall be here for all of your zombie kitten needs.

Catception.

Oh, I am so sick of those bears and their dirty buttholes.

Nope, not me. I'm in Wisconsin. Although I was thinking if anyone read my descriptions of myself, boyfriend, and my dad, they'd know who I am if they know me IRL!

I hope your dad literally did respond like that! Hilarious! I've always told people my dad looks like a combination of Al Bundy and Freddy Kreuger.

The manthing looks a lot like a young Bob Dylan. I've gotten Drew Barrymore all my life.

Well....what did they say? What did you say? I NEED MOAR.

Silly, because she's Oprah, and she doesn't need designers. A team of elves and fairies surround her in a shimmering cloud before events and envelop her body in original creations made from pixie poop and unicorn hairs. No shade to Melissa McCarthy, but girl can't afford that.

Mmm. Now I want chili.

I work at a Chinese restaurant. When there's no fortune we tell people it's extra good luck. It's amazing how upset people get when their cookie is missing a fortune. Those cardboard cookies taste like shit, though, so I guess the fortune is the only fun part.

Sooo...novelty garbage that will be occupying Walmart's $5 bins a few weeks after Christmas? This looks like something my mother's tacky friends would buy.

This was precisely my thought.