Oh he understands women’s value just fine. If they are young and fuckable he values them. Others? Fuck them.

Not to mention, he himself would not even be intelligent or savvy enough to recognize (and hire) people smarter than him. That he needs to hire people smarter than him. All that matters is their servitude and reverence. I doubt he has any sort of perceived understanding of anyone’s value apart from his own.

Excellent point. The only way for Trump to be the smartest person in the room is to hire people who are profoundly and / or willfully ignorant.

I believe I have a pet unicorn! Man, I shoulda thoughta this years ago!

I believed I would lose weight without diet and exercise, so it will happen right?

Luckily for me, I believe I am owed several million dollars and because I believe it, it's true right?

No. NO. Why? Literally when in obstetric nursing would you ever PUSH the baby BACK IN?!

Not normal. Holy crap.

No, it is absolutely not normal, hence the $16 million verdict. That shit is definitely malpractice.

This is what I think of when I think of tradition.

Succinct as fuck. And accurate. As fuck.

Alternate headline: “Asshole Dies For Doing Asshole Things.”

Ellie, how do you type with such short fingers?

And also, the government is not a business and should not be run as such. Consider the implications of the “savings” generated by using a different water source for Flint, Michigan...

This was arguably one of his best episodes he’s done, and it’s a shame to say that because spending this much time on an asshole like Drumpf is akin to putting your hand in a meat slicer.

I’m a litigator. Sometimes I’ll do oral argument before the Court and think, “shit, that felt like rambling. I bet I sounded so dumb. I must do better next time.” And then I get the transcript back and I’ve spoken eloquently throughout it. Comparatively, I imagine Palin is like “nailed it” after a speech and then…

Poor little guy. I bet he was exhausted.