uhhhhhh...me to run in to pick up the pizza that is waiting for me 28 feet from the front of my car.

Worst case is he heaves it nowhere near anyone and gets flagged for intentional grounding.

Briscoe: “Hardy? Your under arrest!”

Man, someone is bitter. Remember Palmer would of rather retired then play another snap with the Bengals.

3. Tom Brady snapped at him when he tried to pull Brady’s face out of a bag of dog treats he left lying around.

12. Horrific motorboating accident.

“It’s All Happening!”—Kirk Cameron

All those idiots signed that petition and they still couldn’t get a fucking Dr. Pepper.

Don’t: Use “Trim” in this context, ever again.

I made a Roethlisberger rape joke about Roethlisberger raping someone because Roethlisberger rapes people.

I can’t believe George Lucas drives a motherfucking Jeep.

IF YOU HAVE A PARTIALLY TORN LCL, COACHES MAY MAKE YOU PLAY.

Nothing worse than seeing a former teammate, leader, and inspiration leaving a trail of tears as he walks out the door, one Blackfoot following the other.

Winona State could have ordered their free throw shooter to miss the shots, too, but it was their coach who pushed the refs to call the foul in the first place.

Of all the Nets things the Nets could do, I think this would be the Netsiest.

Blair Walsh Lived A Kicker’s Nightmare

For some reason I don’t feel like blaming the loss on the only guy who scored points for his team yesterday.

Oh, please. Give me a break.