Goodbye Gertrude!

They could just link to YouTube.

I can use sound waves to take control of your phone much more easily than these guys. Just speak these words based on the following device types:

So spider farts are the cause of global warming?

I find all pretzels to be boring. They are simply a vehicle for iodized salt.

I’m probably guilty of starting the trend of “pro tip”. People like to repeat what I do. Oy vey.

I’m gray pretty much everywhere on Kinja. It’s an irrational policy. I get it if you upload an image, but text is hardly a reason to turn a post to gray.

Independence Day and Twister are nothing to be embarrassed about. They are critically acclaimed by pretty much everyone who knows what a good movie actually is about. Both are 5 star movies. You pop ‘em in, I’ll watch ‘em without hesitation.

“Joe Ricketts”

Matt - if you are trying to win the Guinness Book of World Records record for longest article headline, you really should just dump the entire story into the headline and call it a day.

5 minute caramelized onions are possible: You take a piece of caramel candy and melt it down in the skillet for about 5 minutes. Then coat the onion with the caramel. Then you hand it to the person who wanted caramelized onions to be prepared in just five minutes.

Love most things Trek. No way am I paying for All Access just to watch the new Trek.

10 Simple Life Hacks you should NEVER do with WD-40:

I’d wager their system doesn’t distinguish the money reserved for charities as being different from the other money in their system. Someone probably thought, “Hey wouldn’t this be nice?” Their tech people said, “Sure, we can do that as long as it doesn’t need to do anything different.” And the tech folks bolted on a…

You can do a ton of thing with this little feature out of the box, including: hosting a small web site, sharing files, and even streaming video.

Apparently, some poor engineer at Amazon Web Services (AWS) did an oopsie and brought the internet to its knees.

GameStop is now hiring workers for their new sanitation department.

How about snot? Can they measure that too?

The lawsuit further alleges that PayPal then transfers the money to an interest-bearing account and “refuse[s] to promptly deliver” the donations, accruing interest on the money for months before ultimately giving the funds to “similar” charities.

It’s certainly not the average American’s diet, which contains too few vegetables and too little dairy, according to data from the National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey.