I LOVE salty, buttery popcorn. You have now made me hungry.

Jesus fucking Christ. At this point I’d be willing to break into their fertility clinic and flush those fucking things down the toilet just to get this Loeb fucker off this shit.

If Nick Loeb ended up suffering a tragic penis-destroying accident, I think that would be cosmic justice.

It’s like the story about the brewery worker who drowned in a vat of beer. The grieving widow asks “Did he suffer long?” and the guy’s co-worker says “No, actually he got out twice to go to the bathroom.”

Oh, hell naw!

I tree what you did there.

It’s a sticky situation, alright.

I’m sure this mess will ultimately be pinned on some poor sap.

I want these illegal aliens out of our galaxy.

Made in China.

Maybe we should build a space wall... According to the President elect, aliens never send their best ones.

If it’s a true dad joke, then it’s “Hu’s there?”

Racism is not a mental illness, nor is mental illness an excuse for racism.

yeah, some times you really need your cheese, or orajel and there were employees in there before, plus the store was open. I just don’t understand, if you’re that afraid of black people, maybe don’t work in a store where one (or three) is liable to walk in. don’t the kkk have businesses?

I’m pretty sure the common thread here is marijuana. The employees got freaked out by a customer and hid in the back: high. Dude goes to CVS in the middle of the night looking for cheese and spends 45 minutes wandering around the store: high.

the panicked employee who had called the cops was being “counseled and retrained.”

I am, again, legit horrified by race relations in this country - but how did they look around a CVS for 30-45 minutes?

Also, so the cop helped them until they suddenly became a threat?

The only conclusion I can come up with is that the employees had just indulged in some particularly paranoia-inducing weed together. Because that’s just fucking weird.

I really wish Lindsay would just enjoy her life and chill.