Awwww. They think they’re people. The players, I mean.

I’m always on the search for things that are not overrated. There aren’t too many of them, but Shandling hits the mark.

Your writing style is so maddeningly juvenile and your tone so wildly inconsistent that it had become impossible to distinguish between snark and sincerity.

Improv Everywhere used to be about actually fooling people and seeing their reactions. This fooled nobody.

Sherman is usually more thoughtful than this — how can you complain about someone getting booted for two unsportsmanlike conduct penalties?

But the key to Steinbrenner’s mania was that he fired a few even after they won.

How is the Players Association not challenging this contract? I’m no lawyer, but couldn’t a case be made that this contract is so one-sided as to be unenforceable?

“Fewer” guns, not, “less".

More like the “guy who’s not that knowledgeable about MLS” season preview. There’s almost no analysis whatsoever and 90% of it could have been published unchanged from a 2015 season review, except for the bit about Keane, which appears to be from some future season, as the man scored 20 goals in 22 matches last year.

“Obscure” —

Those last three words suggest you were born between the years 1964 and 1972. Am I right?

That’s not Darren Rovell — that’s Nick Tortelli from Cheers.

Or maybe you didn't get the message that someone can graduate college and work for the NYC Transit system.

The top two things doctors don’t tell expecting moms, but should: a c-section is a significant medical/surgical procedure and many, many women have trouble breastfeeding.

It’s ridiculous to say she has “a touch” of any kind of beauty as she has gobs and gobs of beauty.

It’s hard to tell if that’s the real play-by-play commentary or a Key & Peele parody.

I don’t know anything about Chloe Kim but this: it is nearly impossible to find a picture of her on the Internet in which she does not have a huge smile.

Sometimes you have to sue on the small cases to reserve your right to sue on the big ones. Precedent and all.

My fear is that we’re all going to have to become Prime members to watch the World Cup.

There’s no lost revenue. Here’s the magic formula: Price of pre-season ticket/# of home games played + average cost of ticket last year = new average price of tickets this year.

Voila!