The happiest asshole in America, ladies and gentlemen.

there needs to be a version of the Godwin’s Law auto-lose-argument corollary for this. it’s so tired and played out that even the responses to it are tired and played out.

It’s a zero sum game! You solve all the problems or none, those are the only options.

Guess it must be like walking & chewing gum at the same time.. can only do one or you trip on a sidewalk crack..

“When I was done beating them and throwing them on my gun pile”

I don’t have a band, but I tried to name my friends band for him. Unfortunately, he didn’t go for “The Racist Babies” (a reference to the cover of Time magazine that week).

The email of the week is unclear if he walked into a house with another party going on, or walked into a house, helped himself to some of that family’s pizza, and wandered around wondering when the party was going to start.

The Panthers decided they DIDN’T want that headache, so they turned Hardy loose and have been fine ever since.

I’ve been working for the same international company since 2007. First time they sent me to the States in 2008 with a corporate credit card, dining guidelines were 10% tips. They updated it to 15% in 2013 and as of 2015 that already feels cheap. Seriously, they need to start paying servers a decent wage and get rid of…

Well it’s 10-1 then.

Is this entire comment parenthetical?

Man, he will never not look like he’s stuck in Goldeneye’s big head cheat.

Nooo! Not my $11!

That it is not Gretzky’s point record is a fucking farce.

Your whole religion is based on persecution

Sounds like you don’t know anything about Satanism. Here are the basic tenets:

Replace your references of Satanism with Islam and you have the way many republicans think.

Starred because I agree with what you’re saying, especially the last part.

I read that whole thing with a lisp for absolutely no reason at all. All those 7s just mess with my head.