It was her first time acting? Then she better return her Golden Globe for Best Actress in a Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for Television.

No shit, in Ft Drum in 2011, they had guys riding the lawnmowers (not as a punishment) wear a helmet and PT belt. Because the infantry has nothing better to do than make up new rules.

Yeah, but the Marines are in the navy. If you're in the navy, you're a squid. If you're in the army/marine infantry, you're a grunt. If you're in the air force, you're in a recliner. If you're in the coast guard, you're a laughing stock. 

Muscles

If everything is, then nothing is.

It sounds wrong because it is wrong. Like thinking a taco is a sandwich. It's absurdly wrong. 

The point being: when you specifically call a hot dog a sandwich, no one pictures an actual hot dog. Because it's not a sandwich. 

If I tell you I’m going to serve “hot dog sandwiches” at my house, there’s no way anyone is thinking I’m serving a regular hot dog. Most people will ask why I’m not just serving hot dogs.

In reality, this will lure people in. They’ll be excited to play games after work. Then they’ll get stationed somewhere without it and realize that the army does this shit all the time, only implementing the new recruiting incentive at places people rarely get stationed. Or they’ll get stationed there and realize that…

You know what really goes great with 6 french fries? 50 more french fries. 

You eat a sub with the seam on the bottom? That makes no sense.

Eat a sandwich with the seam on the bottom. You’ll look like an idiot because that’s not how you eat a sandwich. Now eat a hot dog with the seam on the side. You’ll look like an idiot because that’s not how you eat a hot dog. And in both cases, you’ll be covered in a toppings mess.

Any turkey will fly if you kick it hard enough.

HIMYM has the slap bet, which is a classic on its own. That's a twofer. 

Colorado Springs is surrounded by military bases, which means we get the worst drivers from all 50 states and other nations. Don't drive if it's raining or slightly dark. And avoid all roundabouts. 

This will be hard to explain, but because of where they built ours, and the limited space they had, the drive thru forces the parking lot traffic to only go one-way. But that way forces you to leave the parking lot by driving on the left whilst entering on the right. So naturally you get a lot of people who can't…

Steak n’ Shake is so good that, here in Colorado Springs, I’ll sit through what is consistently the worst service I’ve ever recieved at a restaurant just to get that garlic double with extra cheese.

The best non-stick pan is a well-seasoned and maintained cast iron pan. 

If their porn search history is any indication, they don't have to leave to get their freak on.