All Star game becomes Rock and Jock. All players donate a day’s salary to charity and the celebrity players match. Everyone has fun.

 Just for clarity, you can use less water for the same effect.

Can I look at Walter Peyton, Jim Brown, or Emmitt Smith?

It’s sad that you have sympathy for someone so useless. By murdering, in cold blood, two completely innocent and unsuspecting individuals, he stole life. Removing a cancer doesn’t require emotion, especially sorrow, sadness, joy, or forgiveness. His actions demonstrated his disregard for the rule of law, and his…

Murderers contribute nothing to society and have no reason to continue existing. He made his choice. No sympathy will be had, no joy will be had. It’s removing a cancer, nothing more. Move along.

 You know Bill would just look him dead in the eyes as he puts him down.

I used to cheat mainly to be a god in games. Only single player, mind. It was fun as hell in GTA3 to just be an invincible murder machine. And there was something about just killing time having fun without consequences. It wasn’t because games were too hard, or because I didn’t care about the rules. It was a point of…

Or try using your other hand. Or maybe sit on your hand for a while first.

Not to mention that the word “soccer” actually comes from England.

Oh man. I better remove my tattoos that all have personal meaning to me. I didn’t realize you weren’t paying attention to them.

Fuck. This is going to be like Clubber Lang fighting Glass Joe.

Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure.

I agree. All they need now is a QB who won’t embarrass themselves...

Yeah, I hate women who defend themselves too. They should know their place, right?

Eighth grade in Calumet City. Had to do square dancing for what seemed to be an unreasonable amount of a quarter.

I bought my NES Classic on April 19, from GameStop (ugh) for $60. There’s hope, people.

 Jesus Christ. What a fucking mess of a person that is.

 I mean, yeah, that’s a fucked up thing to bring up.

It’ll never pass, sure. But it will be brought up during the midterm elections.

Jesus. I guess we really know who’s losing this fight. And it isn’t the two dipshits in the ring.