Not to mention that the word “soccer” actually comes from England.

Oh man. I better remove my tattoos that all have personal meaning to me. I didn’t realize you weren’t paying attention to them.

Fuck. This is going to be like Clubber Lang fighting Glass Joe.

Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure.

I agree. All they need now is a QB who won’t embarrass themselves...

Yeah, I hate women who defend themselves too. They should know their place, right?

Eighth grade in Calumet City. Had to do square dancing for what seemed to be an unreasonable amount of a quarter.

I bought my NES Classic on April 19, from GameStop (ugh) for $60. There’s hope, people.

 Jesus Christ. What a fucking mess of a person that is.

 I mean, yeah, that’s a fucked up thing to bring up.

It’ll never pass, sure. But it will be brought up during the midterm elections.

Jesus. I guess we really know who’s losing this fight. And it isn’t the two dipshits in the ring.

Good news, this isn’t a championship fight. It’s barely an exhibition.

 Are you just not in on the joke? None of this is serious.

I mean, he’s not that good.

I don’t know how, but Tim Tebow was involved.

I sit down, mostly because of my Prince Albert dripping when I stand. But after time I just realized it was more comfortable and clean.

Jesus carries 2 of them.

Do you pick players in that, or just wager if anyone’s watching?

And only 7 were made. No pre-orders allowed.