Not two tits. That would be slutty.

Oh jesus. Hahaha. Also, allow me to say you a compliment about your username.

If you can't discern the difference between being drunk and being unconscious, you're doing drinking wrong.

So that she can demonstrate what "asking for it looks like" so that when she is raped, it's her own fault!

cAn't sTop lAUghiNg!

Seriously. Your genitals aren't exactly works of art, either dudes. Still, I've never felt the need to shame guys whose flappy balls whip me in the gut while we're fucking.

DOOD, "Nancy, what the fuck are you talking about please" is going to be my new feminist rallying cry. Every time I see some shit like this.

Doing it wrong! Make pants, you silly non-feminist. No feminist card for you!

I warn you that I will take my cues from my cat, and ululate the song of my people at the top of my lungs beginning at 4:30 a.m. until such time as I am fed.

If people are performing sexual activity with an unconscious person or someone incapable of giving consent THAT'S NOT SEX! THAT'S RAPE! #realcommonsense

You could probably benefit from a little cuddle and a hot steaming mug of gofuckyourself.

Has anyone ever read that cheesy book The 5 Love Languages? I know, but I think it's kind of fascinating. Mine's physical touch with a dash of gift giving. I really found a lot of pleasure out of making my (now ex) dude a snacky snack, or grabbing him a beer and taking a little extra time to pour it into a chilled…

rapists cause rape. end of story. #quittrolling

As a heterosexual, married male, I must offer two responses to this article:

First, the positive: Thank you for the laugh. This was one of the most insightful, witty, cutting articles I've read in a long time—and it had me howling, until...

Second, the negative: I have realized I know far too many men—and far too many…

I feel like this should actually read:

Well thank god somebody finally had the courage to come out and say this.

Nancy, what the fuck are you talking about please.

I've known two chicks with obvious signs of body dismorphia who would occasionally get high and brag that they had basically no external labia. One of them was really proud that hers looked like a baby's butt (WHAT). The other was chronically disgusted by natural breasts.

Seriously, how is the joke on us for having normal anatomy, and not on the guys who don't understand how an actual human being is supposed to be shaped? Why is our reaction shame and self-consciousness, and not simply scorn for the guy who's making a fool of himself?