I also don’t give a shit about “Game of Thrones”, where’s my media coverage?

To be fair, Bradshaw can’t spell “cat” if you gave him the “c” and the “a”, according to some guy on America’s Team.

Depends; is he a Leafs fan?

“...in a Keyser Soze-level twist, Shaquille O’Neal.” 

No, he’s going to run for president, the bar’s been lowered so much Papa John’s shortcomings aren’t the liability they should be.

I think the trial where Dr. Phil sues Taffer for copyright infringement (isn’t yelling at people to be better McGraw’s entire gimmick?) would be more entertaining, especially if Jerry Springer’s the presiding judge. 

“I looked at the hidden camera footage, you call that having sex?!?
SHUT HER THE HELL DOWN!”

Who’s taking one for the team and sucking someone’s dick in this version?

Or, have hologram Grimes battle the twitterbot that is Azalea Banks in cyberspace.

Eating all those detergent pods can’t be helping matters either.

I liked the synth-pop parts better than the parts where he sounds constipated.

Hopefully, Corey’s Angels don’t make a musical appearance.

So...you’re just like the rest of the NFL after 2015?

Looks like the announcement for the Stanley Cup parade down Yonge Street has been put on hold for the 52nd time.

Does Topher Grace playing David Duke in “BlacKkKlansman” make up for that, or is it more acceptable penance than “Breakthrough”?

I think Mike Colter has been typecast, as him saying “Sweet Christmas!” in this would have been totally acceptable. 

That’s why I don’t put Dijon on my Freedom Fries.
Never have, never will.

I said that about Kathy Griffin once and some superfan chewed me out for doing so. 

It took three years and “Black Panther” for Michael B Jordan to wash the stench of “Fant4stic” from him.

If a food celebrity must defecate on my plate, I’d prefer it to be Padmi Lakshmi from “Top Chef”.