Could have been worse.  Could have been the Mets.

my wife and I were both woken up at a hotel in Denver by a girl screaming in delight (think the scene in Forgetting Sarah Marshall) but neither of us knew the other had woken up. The next morning she said “did you hear that girl? It really turned me on, I wish you’d been awake.” Damn!

Joke’s on you: They were both married - BUT NOT TO EACH OTHER!

That’s the thing.  Random priest?  Rock on indeed.  Your priest?  That might fall in somewhere in the friend/sibling/parent section depending on the age of your priest and your relationship with them.

I was kind of torn about the people in the hotel room next to mine a few years back . On the one hand, I was trying to sleep, but on the other they went three rounds, with a break in the middle for breakfast and reading each other funny things in the newspaper and laughing gently together. I was honestly happy for…

Even higher if the roommate is alone.

But if you hear Hitler having sex, then that’s just one caveat of owning a time machine, right?

I for one can only cum hearing the sound of Suzie Waldman’s voice.

Not sure which of those things I’d rather listen to if I’m being honest.

The "yankee" game, uh-huh, sure.

As the husband of a therapist, I can confirm this necessity.

16. Next-door neighbor

Jokes on you. This was an inside hit by your therapist to get you to come in and talk about it.

you need to check the couch for stains

now you have something new to talk about with your therapist.  

Would you know it’s Hitler? Or does it just sound like some Austrian guy going at it? Because I have to imagine that just hearing German sex in general is pretty harrowing. 

I think “Roommate while you’re in the room trying to sleep” deserves a separate, higher entry.

Wait...your babysitter, or your kid’s babysitter? And, importantly, if your kid’s babysitter...who are they having sex with?

I am quite positive this exact list exists on a fetish website somewhere as best people to overhear having sex.

scans list for hitler