How many times is an NFL front office going to tell us how great a domestic abuser is once they “got a chance to sit down and hear his side of things”?

Two five year olds looking at each other’s wee wees are “Playing Doctor”. A 15 year old adolescent molesting a five year old is not. Never mind that there were multiple victims, multiple occasions over several years, and often the victims were originally asleep, so they weren’t ‘playing’ anything.

You left out the best part of Michael Seewald’s disgusting diatribe:

Many times it is simply lack of opportunity or fear of consequences that keep us from falling into grievous sin even though our fallen hearts would love to indulge the flesh.

This is his 5th arrest related to violence/crimes against women.

“If you want, you can talk to my college coach, Urban Meyer” - Ray McDonald

Hit me once, shame on you. Hit me twice, you're Ray McDonald.

Here is the transcript from the Bears after signing him. It was a joke then, but now it is downright pathetic.

“The incident happened my junior year at Columbia, when Paul followed me upstairs at a party, came into a room with me uninvited, closed the door behind us, and grabbed me. I politely said, “Hey, no, come on, let’s go back downstairs.” He didn’t listen. He held me close to him as I said no, and continued to pull me…

Oh man, that reminds me of the saddest/weirdest/grossest thing I’ve heard about cows and vet schools. Veterinary schools have cows with permanent fistulas in their stomachs that allow students to study digestion, feel the cows’ innards, etc. They have stomas on their sides. They don’t seem bothered by it, but it…

How in the fuckity fuck is it 2015 and some ingenious asshole hasn’t created a fake vagina specifically for this with sensors and doodads that ring a loud noise and say things out loud like “That isn’t the vagina, wrong hole moron.”

I have gotten countless vaginal ultrasounds in the last 3 years, and not once have they EVER had to “sexually stimulate” me in order to get the scan. Like, at all. Like AT ALL. It would go right in, without anything inappropriate or awkward, beyond me apologizing that my body is always like, “haha no not again” and…

This whole thing is horrifying, but what the holy hell is happening with this sentence in particular?

In this day and age, I think it is up to the manufacturer to do a better job to keep secrets. They know Jalopnik and other sites won’t wait for embargoes and will publish leaks.

On the contrary - by publishing it, he was technically being unethical. He may not have been the one to leak it, by publishing it, he was just as complicit in unethical behavior. It was GM’s document; GM’s data. As such, they have every single right to determine when, where, or even if it gets shared. By publishing…

The absolute best thing I like about Jalopnik is that you guys don’t blow smoke up manufacturer’s asses. You play it straight. Far too often do I read reviews elsewhere and it is little more than the press release with some additional fluff from the media outlet.
Leaks happen, and those places get asked to take them…

I'm holding my donations until someone puts Dubya in a ring with Tyson.

It’s a metaphor for Mitt Romney’s whole life: it's been set up in his favor from day one, and yet he still doesn't do much with it.

It’s an upgrade in opponent for Evander, as Romney will just talk your ear off.

For God’s sake Holyfield, pull down on his trunks so we can answer that magic underwear question once and for all.