Good God the AFC East. The Dolphins should just be given a season-long training camp, and the Patriots can probably do the same and then come back for the playoffs. The Bills and Jets should just play each other the next 15 games.

As with everything, this also underscores why, now that I’m allowing myself to think about football, I’ve gone from zero to 60 instantly in my renewed hatred of the Patriots. THEY’VE BEEN ABLE TO PLAY IN A CONFERENCE THAT HAS TWO FULL DIVISIONS WORTH OF TEAMS THAT WILL NOT MATTER.

The timelines of disparagement don’t match up, but this really feels like 2009 Josh McDaniels. Join a team that has been middling but has a good core of young talent, alienate and send away that talent in hopes of bringing in guys you like, fail. What’s so Raiders is that instead of realizing they’ve made a terrible,…

Hard Knocks always works best when the personalities are surprisingly endearing. Seasons featuring teams with notably big personalities often can’t live up to the hype. However, for every, “Huh, Carson Palmer has a likable, wry sense of humor,” you’re going to get a few “Wow...so Andy Dalton really is like that all…

Yeah, I think this right here is more a product of the Raiders hiring Mike Mayock as their top personnel guy because he sure seemed to know what he was talking about during NFL Network draft coverage.

Growing up we had these, but results were mixed. I once set one up and a few feet away, but the typical, lethal spring trap. Figured I’d at least give the little fella a sporting chance, and choice.

Yes, if there’s one thing the Funbag has taught me, it’s that even the lesser athletically grueling positions in the NFL are still occupied by guys who in most any pick-up sport situation, would be the best player there.

YES! This was the beginning of the end of my very brief football career. I could not convince my body to continue moving forward while seeing a kid come charging at me full speed out of the corner of my eye. The coaches kept yelling at me as I’d just stop running right before the kid would launch so he would just end…

…is so delighted that the Cowboys unearthed Dak in the fourth round that he’ll spend the next decade paying Dak and parading him around as a living testament to his own football scouting acumen.

In a somewhat surreal turn, my wife (Colts fan) got into a football conversation a week ago wherein two of her co-workers were arguing that Andrew Luck is a bust (due to the injuries) and the Colts should move on from him. Mind you, one of these chaps is a Bills fan (so therefore just wants to watch the world and its…

And on top of the money, also the respect that you were a top performer in your field. Seriously, how does one get mad about someone being successful and widely respected, and deciding they’re ready to move on?

But this heavily discounts the fact that it’s fun to watch your team win, and teams that routinely get to, and advance in, the playoffs only to suffer terrible heartbreak, still do a good amount of winning. So there’s still a good amount of fun each fall for fans of these teams. A team with one playoff win in 62…

Man, it’s Gollum Reference Day at Deadspin. Shit...is this like a no-hitter thing? Did I just jinx it?

Maybe in a very small district. Otherwise...no...that’s not correct.

I’m not a parent, but in the category of people to be wary of when it comes to your kids, racist superintendent doesn’t feel like it would rate that high on the list. Most kids will NEVER have an interaction with their school district’s superintendent. Racist teacher and racist principal would be far more concerning,…

And also important, given the two examples you cited, is having a can’t miss, franchise-shaping talent available in the draft. Tanking doesn’t guarantee you’ll get an awesome player. 

Cracked black pepper Triscuit is the pinnacle of snack food achievement.  

Thumbs up IRL is definitely part of my repertoire and I have only my viewing of World Cup soccer to blame. It is an extremely easy way to signal acknowledgement and approval across distance. I also find it helpful when verbally responding to a question but then get waylaid by a cough, or my tendency to provide a…

Predator. Screw all that super-power-makes-the-ball-go-far nonsense. Predator is jacked, agile, great coordination, can camouflage like a motherfucker...

Matt Cassel will forever be known to me as how the Denver Broncos won the Super Bowl in 2015-16. Without him, and totally-incompetent-without-Belichick Josh McDaniels, the Broncos likely hang onto Jay Cutler for four or five more years. Instead, McDaniels runs Cutler because he wants Cassel. Kyle Orton comes over in…