I know Twilight and you, sir, are no Twilight.

My favorite has to be. "Holy fuck. This is wrong, but holy hell is it erotic."

I'm picturing a multiracial circle jerk to the tune of "Kumbaya."

Plagiargasm.

Would I Lie On You

A Always. B Be. C Coming.

Those damn intelligent people. Stealin' mah stereo an' mah women!

I liked that movie where Meg Ryan played you.

I'm reading all of these in the voice of Sean Connery.

No doubt the fetishistic details of suffering in the Crucifixion story play no small part in that paradigm.

Except the baseball is crammed up your ass and you stick your dick in the pie fresh out of the oven.

Repressed baby sexuality?

Yeah, but not of dudes who are not us.

…Says the protagonist of an explicit furry comic.

How ironic that Edward is the one who ended up in Cosmopolis, then.

Oh, there's many an errant lash.

http://www.youtube.com/watc…

Would you be a dear and put this up your butt, please? Thanks, hon.

You can't buy me hot dog man!

Moby Dick is just asking to be turned into porn. Exotic, deadly love interest with strange skin and all.