SAME. When I picked a career path I went with working with children and not military for a reason. I do not ever want to carry a gun, and I absolutely shouldn’t either. I’m jumpy, accident prone, have poor reflexes, and I’m forgetful. Those qualities are not a problem for my job, unless you decide being Rambo is now…

Domestic violence charges should be brought by the state so that a woman like this one doesn’t have to be put in the position of pressing charges or not pressing charges.

I had a falling out with my best friend of 17 years about 5 years ago. We were inseparable and she’s in almost every memory I have; it’s like someone burned down my archives. It was harder than any breakup I’ve ever had.

They were entertaining themselves *and* taking part in a promotion actually run by the stadium while fuck all was happening on the field. How do I know nothing worth watching was happening in the game? Because the announcers were showing these girls on the screen and mocking them, instead of talking about anything…

Being angry and hateful takes a lot out of you.

Waiter: “I’m sorry Sir, but the policy is clearly printed at the top of the restaurant menu”

This is all very James and the Giant Peach to me.

Ughhhhh... my mom did this to me. She made me (because let’s face it, it was basically HER wedding) invite the two toxic hags I like to call the “bad aunties”. The bad aunties are awful, spiteful women who delight in tearing other people down to make themselves feel better about their mediocre lives. They have been…

If anyone is good at holding multiple opposite viewpoints at one time, it’s a conservative Republican.

First of all, this woman doesn’t understand her own damn religion, because by their own standards, the Pope is going straight to hell for being and idolater, so.

My guess on what really went down:

Hahahahaha, oh Brayden, darling, did you read that delightful new Bruce Williams column in the daily print out of the internet that one of our several butlers brought us this morning?

it’s not sexual frustration. I’m the kind of single mom who actually spends most of her time seeing that we have a home and schoolwork done and all the rest, which means I’m not out there dating my ass off and bringing men through the kid’s life. I’m not sexually frustrated because I have a hand and know how to use…

What? How does this have to do with a gun free campus. Why are people crazy? This isn’t justification!

Holy shitballs. Your comment made me google it, never heard of any of this.

They can’t be terrorists, they’re white! They have a mental illness!

I grew up there. I sang choir on that campus. I’m so fucking sad and angry. People are already arguing that this is what you get on a gun free campus. I hate this fucking country.

I just googled “beta uprising.” Dear God.

I respect Hannibal Buress more by the day.

I am more curious to know at what point in the history of the english language was there enough throwing of things out of windows to necessitate the need for a word that means “to throw something out a window”.