Is he just taking a bite out of that fucking Hersheys bar?

shutup you filthy genius.

“....In archives going back to 1995, this has never happened before....”

put cookie dough outside in the sun in the morning. Then when you open the door in the afternoon, boom- cookies.

I don’t know, man. She’s doin something with her life. I’ve got a stuffed anteater.

“Do you know how far away I was from being my high school valedictorian? My high school valedictorian went to Yale and is currently in medical school. I’m sitting in my bedroom eating Doritos and writing about mail I get. That’s how far.”

Even the most die-hard Nintendo fanboys could be forgiven for not knowing about the 64DD.

Here is the first, official picture of Ryan Reynolds as everyone's favorite anti-hero Deadpool.

I didn't realize I needed more of this in my life so badly.

I respectfully and passionately disagree. Many things are just more easy to figure out over the phone. Often, I'll give up on a text conversation and just call someone to make plans, or determine a meeting point or something like that. Also, I just like chatting with people! Perhaps that's where we diverge.

I am a huge proponent of the chronological everything feed.

Or, they could just default to showing the recent posts from people I follow and stop pretending to know what is "relevant" to me?

There, I fixed it!

Recline. Go for it. If I'm behind you I won't move my legs. And I'm willing to bet my femurs are stronger than your lumbar muscles. All of my 6'6" will resist.

Can you just imagine being a fish and hanging out in the plane and the OHMYGODWHATISHAPPENINGTOMEHOLYSHITIAMGOINGTODIE oh cool more water.

I did and he has asked me to get your address, you know... for research purposes.

Tell your friend he's obnoxious and shits everywhere.

Forget what you know about car suspension

you're doing it wrong. just wait until winter and BAM, water walking. I'm not even a scientist and I know that.

Pictured: Artists rendition of rendezvous