Kick front, straight but if I can get an arc it helps. The secret is the dip/scoop with the basket. (my knees do bend two way, because LIZRD PERSON)

That sounds like it would be SO MUCH FUN!

YUM!

I am in bed, the house is completely silent, and I’m cry laughing.

I find it most convenient when I’m carrying the laundry basket with two hands and something drops. The challenge is to grab the item and try to flip it into the basket. Or keep tossing it further down the hallway.

EVERYONE. STOP TALKING ABOUT STEPPING ON RAZORS. YOU ARE SCARING ME!

Beautiful. Is your mom toe-tally ambidextrous? I’m always picking things up that way and it freaks dandilyn out. And I can write with both feet.

Lil baby Justin Bieber got carried into a club like a lil baby.

It’s probably wedge. But in French, so all pretty like.

is it really called a wheel of Brie? (always just thought it was chunk of Brie, huh.)

JOSH has never and will never live the true tenants of J.O.Y.

All I watch on the Food Network is Ina. They even ruined Iron Chef by adding some lame timed competition, and throwing a curve ball ingredient in at the last minute.

Fun fact: it is short for diplodocus like the dinosaur!

Please stop roasting my goddamned shoes. This is not current but I read these tweets today for the first time and it’s my new favorite thing. I would like to spread the joy.

He was just performing an exorcism....with his penis.

Re-enacting “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Wolfe” by way of “The Ice Storm”

It really doesn’t, though. It really doesn’t.

Runs the gamut from A to B

This movie would be funnier with a wheel of Brie as a lead.

Candice’s dress looks like a swimsuit coverup you’d wear to Panama City.