His marriage is empty and he wants to fuck his daughter- he has mannequins instead of women in his life.

As someone in their mid-20's, I see the internet as the killer of malls when it comes to my demographic.

I really wanted to troll my MIL with Oppressed In The Butt By My Inclusive Holiday Coffee Cups as a Christmas gift.

This is a true delight.

Mother’s Day plans all hinge on whether or not my MIL is in town or still interested, I haven’t had an update from my SIL yet. I’ll probably be cooking, but that’s because I volunteered.

THANK YOU

Welp, at least it’s the Kansas end of things and not Missouri. Both states have garbage religious in spades though.

BB’s is pretty damn good, and Woodyard is good. My husband loves Woodyard’s burnt-end chili particularly.

I’ll wait till it’s out on Netflix and binge like any other person who can afford $10 a month on no-contract streaming services.

That tattoo should get you free drinks forever.

When I saw Warren give Obama bs about it I lost my damn mind.

For his asshole to scratch, and never, ever stop feeling scratchy no matter how much he digs at it or spackles it with anti-itch cream.

Holy shit. She is fantastically inspiring, thank you for highlighting her here!

You are the BEST, thank you for sharing!

brb crying forever at it’s perfection

Any favorite tofu recipes/meal ideas to share? For now I can only do mapo tofu and breaded tofu well.

Try rice grits for #3, it’s fantastic. Anson Mills was my obvs go-to.

I want to steal your yard. And dog. and dinner.

• Protein- Chicken/Pork Chops. I don’t need a timer to tell when they are done, so i’m always worried/impressed every time I make it.

Same.