PRINCE: Game to blouses... Bitches.

Sweet creamy nougat Jesus. If some douchebonnet did that to my wife, I would go all Toxic Masculinity on their ass so fast they'do think they were in a Troma movie. Hard to tell people how to raise their kids with a dislocated jaw.

it' s one of my go-to insults, along with eat a [container] of dicks. But that one has uncomfortable homophobic undertones. Couches are gender neutral, and everyone has a couch they value. So fuck all their conservative couches.

I am, of course, entirely kidding. But wrestling truly does have more integrity than FOX.

to which the proper response is still, "Thanks, I guess, but still fuck your couch." This sort of deep-cover trolling has by now done way more harm than good by energizing the human Uruk-hai the believe it. If she "comes out," all it'll do is make them mad.

Hey now! Professional wrestlers are dedicated performers who put their bodies on the line bringing folk theater to the masses! They are both more open with their work being theater and less dangerous than FOX News. Seriously, Stone Cold Steve Austin is a nicer guy than anyone on FOX.

It's an open secret that Coulter is a professional shock jockey who believes barely a single iota of what she says in public. Many of her friends are liberal and she' supposedly a cool person in private.

"These crab cakes are good as a MUG! I fucks with these crab cakes!"

Oh, Jennifer Lawrence was not in any movies with Kristen Stewart. She was interviewed by JON Stewart (no relation.) And she was awful in that interview. Oddly cold, really dismissive when he tried to pay her a grand compliment, comparing her to a young Helen Mirren — who she really does resemble, especially in the…

It's like the Secret Police. So scary, you pretend you don't know it exists so it doesn't hurt you.

Oh wow, now they're even MORE sexualized (except somehow Power Girl...)

Thank you, but you were needlessly mean to the person I was talking to politely. She wasn't dumb at all. Just frustrated.

How do we know the mustached didn't use ol' Iron Joe. In Soviet Russia, after all...

Kendrick is brilliant. She was even almost good in Twilight. TWILIGHT. And got robbed for Up in the Air.

NOW KISS

Matt Lauer is a secret sleaze like Stalin was subtly scary.

Oh, I agree. It was a marvelous performance and she deserved to win. But it was a great performance in an easy role, in a field of easy roles, while the best actor category had only one easy role (DiCaprio, who only does easy roles).

I think that's true of privilege in general. You learn to accept "life is awesome for you" as "normal" and put up barriers against any information to the contrary. It is comfy as FUCK in Plato's Cave, dawg.

Oh Texas. Truly you are the Incredible Hulk of states. Big, dumb, overrated and utterly convinced that your outrage entitles you to do all manner of harm. But boy howdy, point you at the right assholes and you're a big old hero.

We're... not gonna hug this out are we? Alright. I hope you feel better about this particular conversation, and apologize if I helped pile on.