Snow days with no snow only suck if you have kids.

Oh, a gloreee boy that gets to see Inside Llewyn Davis before it opens nationwide. For the second week in a row I scanned local listings for it before going to the actual movie site online to see that it may never open where I live.

Shit Drew, you've gone to 1 dinner with your Wife alone ALL FUCKING YEAR? Are you trying to get divorced?

Or those who want to rank him lower to show all the common folks they don't know their precious sport.

Drafty dodger, that one.

Do you remember where you were when you read Hank Aaron confessing that he cheated in his autobiography?

This was really well written. It really is too bad that our collective moral handwringing and pearl clutching about something that does not matter at all in the scheme of things has gotten to the point that baseball writers pretend the era of baseball is worse than the Holocaust and punishes some of the greatest…

You're the worst.

If we vote for Mark McGwire, aren't we all merely validating the past Mark McGwire is not here to talk about?

Cute trolling, dumbass, but I have literally written multiple blog posts about how John Goodman is my #1 celebrity crush.

The reason people leave the car is that they haven't paid for the gas yet. If you try to pull out, the people who work at the station can assume you're doing a fill and run. That's the sort of awkwardness no-one needs. Plus, if the register in the store is incorrect, the pump total is the total they ring up. My move…

Dear Kyle from "near Philly"-
Some people pay for things with "cash," which is a traditional medium of exchange in human societies, only recently overtaken by "credit cards." This "cash" requires a face to face transaction with the gas station attendant when purchasing gasoline, which means that the consumer must go…

I feel like I'd rather have a kid like me than a complete square incapable of taking risks, spending his entire life coloring inside the lines.

I always stick the pump in, flip the lock if the pump has one (all stations without little lock thingies should be burned)

EARWIGS. ARE. THE. FUCKING. WORST.

"I feel like I'd rather have a kid like me than a complete square incapable of taking risks, spending his entire life coloring inside the lines."

L.O.L. @ the things kids can do that adults can't. So fucking true.

I was thinking - yep, drug addict is the worst case...but quickly I realized South American Jungle Prison Guard rapist is way worse.

"Only the California penal system has a more forgiving parole policy."

"I may be a burden to everyone who knows me, but at least I'm not a square!" Can I place money on this guy making a return trip to rehab?