Emma,

“Two to three years of regular sexual contact with your wife is probably enough to close the gap with your mom.” -Drew Magary.

“Trump Unclear On Details Of Pull-Out Method”

The Yankees Are Struggling To Put Butts In Seats

Teachers wouldn’t be walking at graduation anyway.

More raisist than sexist but whatever.

Show of hands: who now wants to see a picture of this agent?

I heard that he also dated Lennay Kekua before Manti Te’o did. 

The NFL is a better place when Marshawn Lynch is there.

Maybe he misunderstood when they asked him to come into the box.

John Adderwall

“Damn. Clippers getting hacked was kinda my thing.”

Hot TAEK list: “Best Breakfast Countries/Places, Ranked.”

LeBron’s Cavs did it last year...

If I know Balmer, the Clippers will be more stable after a small update and a reboot.

“Checking in.”

What makes vanity plates most annoying to me is that most of them are just desperate attempts by people to let a world of complete strangers know something about them that is mostly meaningless. They should all say:

Just as well. Guy thrives in isolation.

you can’t use the transbreak in NC

Roland Capers sounds like the name of a college point guard...