I got a Jazzy you can borrow. And a Jitterbug for calling 911

Aye, ye olde thyme old-timer ‘tis I

I’m afraid I might just hate people who are always confident and appear to lack what I consider adequate life experience to earn that confidence. ugh I’m olde.

No, no, this can never be true. Gawd go away for a while LD you’re way past overexposed we need a SUBSTANTIAL break. Side note I was so into you for a while and would love to feel that way again if you would let me.

I realize some moms are going to pat themselves on the back thinking, “Not MY Jaden,” but I’m pretty sure these dicks were concealing it from the greater Asheville community, so don’t assume you know what precious baby boy does in his private time. You are the LAST PERSON ON EARTH he will tell.

Jared, Jacob, Justin, Jeremy and Josh...the males of my esteemed generation.

People “look forward to having abortions” the same way organ donors look forward to dying in car accidents. Fucktard.

Wow, this resonated like crazy with me. Also journo grad but went to the dark side of PR. Landed the *best job* at the *best company*, and after about a year of riding the high of feeling perceived as successful for once, the Kool-Aid stopped working on me. I self-destructed, basically, and left in less than graceful…

If the “gestapo soup” line was delivered without attitude I would say that’s adorable and folksy, but my reading is there was insolence and snark involved.

OMG that is horrible. Having to try to convince some cow/a-hole that, indeed, your family member is dead.

It’s my favorite when lack of comprehension of other languages results in this kind of redundancy. Like Roast Beef with Au Jus. Meat chili con carne. The La Fortuna. Help me there are more...

Dear god I have one who is appropriately moderated while sober but when drunk will go on for hours in non-indoor-voice, repeating descriptions of the moves executed, along with flailing gestures that threaten to knock over glassware, etc. Me: wide-eyed, frozen, anxious. Everyone wants to belong to a community and have…

YAS. And stem cell research, and non-prayer-based remedies???

The Cold War was their Golden Age. Fear, fear, bombs, fear, space, military-industrial complex, cash money in daddy’s pockets. Revisionist Reagan. Bald head birthmarks. Hot Russian babes trying to seduce our double agents. I mean, who wouldn’t want that ex back for an old-time’s-sake-bang??

Oh my fucking god. Fiorina’s abortion comment is so dangerous for so many reasons. First, let me vomit. OK, done. Now, she is not just implying but stating that the clandestine PP videos actually contained footage of a writhing fetus with voiceover/dialogue saying “keep this suffering creature alive so we can have…

Control is a many-splendored thing, grasshopper. Embrace your freedom. Continue to be flummoxed and enraged by this bullshit in the world and fightttttt itttttt with your education and confidence.

I don’t remember my dad being around for my first day(s) of school. I know my mom was there because in pictures my bangs were curled and my socks matched and I had a lunch box with (presumably) a lunch in it.

OK so please forgive me, I didn’t know that Yelp had horrific predatory ad sales schemes. I should have known. I worked in the restaurant biz for many years and can smell a dick customer/reviewer from 50 miles away so I always disregarded those comments. I generally only wrote a review if it was a 5* but now I feel…

It’s funny and it’s news because homeless junkies pee on fro-yo floors all the time. It’s what they DO. Drunken college girls usually go behind the dumpster at the bar or six inches from the bar toilet because forty thousand semi-incontinent bitches be fuckin up the line.

obvi