Loathe as I am to point anything out to, not only my favourite AV Club poster but also a being who can indiscriminately affect my XP progression, but…

This seems to be a rather simplistic take. The 2005 Fantastic Four movie took $330million worldwide at the box-office on a £100million budget. That same year saw Christopher Nolan's Batman Begins take $370million worldwide on a budget of $150million. Does that mean audiences aren't interested in Batman either? And…

Not only is this brilliant, it's heartening to see Simon Amstell back in work.

Ooh! I'm 30! I watched Logan's Run and it made me realise I'm not 18 any more, well boo-hoo-fucking-hoo. To be 30 again… the youth, the vibrancy, the possibilities, the mistakes yet to be made, the actual possibility of actual sex with an actual female. Cry me a river.

You see??? They're trying to steal our ladyfolk!!!

McDonalds. An American institution. A soaraway capitalist success story. An invaluable source of employment for teenagers and the socially maladjusted. But wait… what's this? Hamburgers? From Hamburg? French Fries? From France? And what's for dessert? Apple pie. As American as apple pie, well that's ok then. Hang…

Vin Diesel, The Rock, Jason Statham… wake up sheeple! This is all obviously propaganda from the bald illuminati. They're blatantly trying to make our ladyfolk believe that big, beefy bald men are sexy. Pah! Who's gonna speak up for us skinny guys with long luxurious hair??

Listen, lad, I built this kingdom up from nothing. All I had when I started was swamp. Other kings said I was daft to build a castle on a swamp, but I built it all the same. Just to show 'em. It sank into the swamp. So I built a another one… that sank into the swamp. I built another one. That fell over and THEN…

Well, I followed your advice and it was frankly disgusting. And I tried it with portobello mushrooms because they go with anything.

You got yourself a deal!

Yes, ploughman's lunch is basically a deconstructed version of the sandwich - bread and everything. As the name suggests it was a traditional lunch for farm labourers until some genius (and I am not using that word ironically) realised that he could just shove all the ingredients between the bread and eat it that way.

1) Take advantage of the infighting and the mess Labour find themselves in.
2) Deselect her (many) MPs who are facing prosecution for electoral fraud during the last general election and replace them with nice, clean candidates.
It's very clever timing. Just so happens that it's also cynical and disastrous for our…

No, there's no chance we'll see a coalition… especially as the other parties have today announced that they're not willing to go into coalition with one another. Well, the Greens are trying but Labour and the Lib Dems are both suffering from major denial and believe they might have a chance in this election.

Dear America: Your sandwiches seem weird and scary to me and it appears that you're not familiar with the classic Ploughmans. Here is my version:

I have never used GTFO before so here goes…

Father, mother, siblings, work colleagues, that time I actually had a girlfriend.

Sadly it is indeed a thing. And it looks wrong!

Why do you play this game?

HERESY!

Oh wow. Good pull! Even Conservative MPs have more realistic beards than that!