Well, I hear ADHD is almost nonexistent at Hitler Schools.

Tell that to Randy Johnson.

These ladies should contact me.

I'm from the south so I know how devastating it is getting the clap from cousins.

These two actually have a lot in common. Afterward each took out his frustration on some guy in a cage.

+1 jih-audible

Took me at least three reads to conclude that he was talking about his kids, not (a) about a threesome or (b) maintaining a few girls on the side.

Well, we already know he’s drinking piss.

Seattle Seahawks - Know when to run

That was the story of Sunday - Patriot goes for a 2, disaster ensues.

My favorite “Kobe Bryant is an asshole” story comes from Smush Parker. Kobe literally told Smush he wasn’t allowed to talk to him because he hadn’t won anything.

I believe it’s quite common for glass to break when one repeatedly chucks bricks at it.

To be fair, Ricky Rubio does incredible things every night as well. I mean did you ever think it was possible to shatter a backboard from a bricked 20 foot jump shot?

Carson Palmer looked pretty drunk yesterday, too, but then again, he never actually drove anywhere.

As a fan, it was nice to see Vince Young have one last disappointing drive.

For one thing, the cop’s shooting percentage would be sky-high.

If the baby had been the one black kid in the entire district, anyone over the age of 40 would have fainted.

I made a Roethlisberger rape joke about Roethlisberger raping someone because Roethlisberger rapes people.

Its as if Roethlisberger is being held down against his will.

This is all the proof you really need.