SHOCKER! The guy with a $4 haircut and velcro shoes doesn’t have the respect of his locker room. There’s a reason GB wasn’t sad to see him go to the Giants....he’s terrible. “3rd and 8? How about a draw??? THEY’LL NEVER SEE IT COMING!” Gross.

Buttfuck it?

I stayed home sick from work today, which of course means I watched the Price is Right and ate tomato soup with buttered rye bread like my grandma used to make when I stayed home sick from school.

What are your go-to daily websites for news and pop culture?

I just met a Great Pyrenees for the first time like 10 minutes ago and it was fucking awesome. All I can think about now is getting a dog.

I worked at a Boy Scout camp for over a decade (ages 14-24), and it was by the far most influential experience in my life. I learned how to build a fire, how to properly shotgun a beer, how to drive stick. I was given far more responsibility at age 17 than anyone should have been. I learned how to manage people by…