“Whatever you do, do not eat the pistachio ice cream! IT HAS TURNED.”

-Mater

Sure. Like I said, I know it wasn’t intended to be hurtful. I’m not going to lose sleep over it or anything.

We’re all good!

*high fives fellow internet story reader*

I don’t care specifically about overweight people, people of color, people with various sexual orientations, or one of the numerous other things that make people unique. I just care about people. That’s all. I’m not going into an internet rage over it or anything; I was simply pointing it out.

a big mom and four hungry kids

I understand that she was probably just describing the scene and had no ill intent with the use of the adjective; I simply don’t see how it helps illustrate the story of a sweet, understanding person.

I loved reading all of these, but I couldn’t help being disappointed in this person’s description of this woman, whom she described as being lovely:
“Fast forward to me standing next to a booth crammed with a big mom and four hungry kids”

Dude.

What’s RedTube?

*goes to redtube.com on work PC*

OH.

*is escorted out by security*

I remember my parents using this exact thing back in the mid-90s.

“And don’t worry, there doesn’t appear to have been any lasting damage”

LOOK AT THE PICTURE—HIS RIGHT ARM IS MISSING.

[insert mother_of_god_meme.jpg here]

This is Lifehacker, not Gawker—keep it civil.

*grabs screwdriver from punk kid, yells, “this is mine now!” and proceeds to slam screen door”

Mounting them to another board and then mounting it to the side is what I thought of as well.

*high fives, moonwalks into the sunset*

Preface—I hate that I’m going to be “that guy.” Please proceed.

That last part was kinda macabre, but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.

Those monsters.

The Godfather trilogy—yes, including Part III—are my all-time favorite movies. I’ve literally seen each one dozens of times since I was about 14. There are some excellent books and features on the making of the films, including the tollbooth scene.

I’m pissed that, to this day, the scene of Michael…

+45 internets for you.

Also—rewatch that scene and notice the giant chasm between Sonny’s punches and Carlo’s face. Mi fa sempre ridere!

She’s the worst.

The long-handled Merkur is excellent. I’m a fan of Astra blades, but see what works for your face.

The long-handled Merkur is excellent. I’m a fan of Astra blades, but see what works for your face.

The official theme song for the event is Roker You Like a Hurricane.