Standing in a hospital room, the Kia Soul ends a phone call, and with a smirk looks down and crosses, "Nissan Cube" off of a list, closes its notebook, and places it in the pocket of its glittery parachute pants. Then, slowly, grabs a pillow and begins reaching towards the unconscious, weak, bedridden body of the…

Factory metal-flake candy paint jobs.

Yeah the referee was so biased towards Brazil that he let a Colombian walk free from breaking someone's back. He also removed a great player (Silva) from the next match, because BIAS. Next thing you'll be claiming colombia's retracted "goal" wasn't illegal.

Yeah, I mean, how in the hell does Peyton Manning or Tom Brady not complete 100% of their pass attempts? They are the best in the world, and they practice it every day of their lives. That's fucking absurdity.

They lost two in a row after a tie and one win (barely).

Joke is on him. Firefighters enjoy having actual fires to go on, since it puts training to work.

Super excited to be a part of this experiment! I just want to say thank you to all the readers who have supported my articles. You have asked great questions and added to the conversation. Our goal is here is to not only serve the Jalopnik community but to turn more people into Jalops that are shopping for a new or…

#waymoeforpresident

I'm ehhh to this being a muscle car

The one being driven by the underdog. Everyone thinks it's the jock but its really the bad boy mysterious loner who spends all class in the parking lot working on his car with a shitty exterior. He proves it at the end when he beats the jock in a race and then the cheerleader gives him a handy on the ride back to the…

[The Lotus Esprit is still gorgeous, isn't it?]

Connecticut, you say?

aka The Laguna Secadora?

This is one of the most EPIC crashes I've seen on the internets.

They're douches for driving that fast on public roads. They're massive douches for doing it poorly.

Point. But can we agree on a rough percentage of douches? I'm going with at least 51%.

EVERY FUCKING ONE OF THEM IS INDEED A DOUCHE. These asshats with more money than brains who shouldn't be driving a car with more than 110 HP (because they can't drive) playing in traffic with other cars on the road going 30 or 40 MPH slower than they are...and they wreck.

As an owner of many expensive cars: running these speeds in heavy traffic makes you a douchenozzle. All of these dudes. It's not about the money.